Match Statistics

Date	Team 1	Goals 1	Team 2	Goals 2	Match reports
Wed, 10/01/2024	England Charlie Morgan Hugo Cuddigan John Park Mark Davies Michael Davies Oliver Gorton Rupert Coltart Steve Davies	1	Spain Abdelilah Saham Alexander Hodgson Ben Donald Gordon Baker Hugo Fuller Paddy Inglis Ricky Gill Saverio Campione	4	I can only think of a couple of times in my life where I have walked off a pitch thinking I was completely outplayed and tonight was one of those nights. A very strong Spanish side put England to the sword and England’s goal flattered England as it came about due to a Spanish error. Where Spain had organisation and purpose England had chaos and indecision. Spain actually had an effective press and that prompted England into a raft of errors and mis-passes coupled with the usual faffing in defence. Credit to Spain.
Wed, 13/12/2023	England Charlie Morgan Hugo Cuddigan John Park Mark Davies Michael Davies Oliver Gorton Rupert Coltart	3	Spain Alexander Hodgson Deven Ghelani Paddy Inglis Paul Sharp Pete Davies Saverio Campione Steve Davies	4	For the neutral spectator this was a great end to end game of 7 v 7 football with the advantage swinging from one side to another. To England this was just an annoying game. They had the majority of play and were camped in Spain's final third a lot but for some reason could not put the ball into the back of the net and therefore succumbed to a loss. Nothing remarkable other than Coltart R chested the ball out of play only to not be able to find the ball at the end of the game. When he said he would replace the ball to its owner, Hodgson A said "don't bother it was getting old anyway" however a second later remembered that it was actually the ball he'd been given by Messi L which had won Argentina the world cup and therefore would happily take a bank transfer of £17500 which in his opinion was a low-ball valuation but was happy with given that we are chums. I duly popped the cheque in the post with a no class stamp!
Wed, 06/12/2023	England Anton Bettink Hugo Cuddigan John Romeo Michael Davies Mike Penkethman Oliver Gorton Rupert Coltart	6	Spain Deven Ghelani Hugo Fuller Nick Warner Paddy Inglis Paul Sharp Saverio Campione Steve Davies	3	I was about to blame Gorton O for turning up uninvited (or unsigned up anyway) however it looks like he was down to play so my opening joke is ruined! Anyhow England had an extra man for an unknown reason. There was worry that no one had a ball till Sharp P rocked up with a nice football. England seemed massively over confident that they would easily win the game with the extra man however Spain gave them a run for their money and went into half time 3-2 up. A little shell shocked almost every England player removed at least one item of clothing at half time and after a quick huddle to discuss how silly it was they were losing properly turned up in the second half and dispatched Spain with four unanswered goals to win comfortably.
Wed, 29/11/2023	England Anton Bettink Hugo Cuddigan John Park John Romeo Mark Davies Michael Davies Oliver Gorton Rupert Coltart	6	Spain Alexander Hodgson Charlie Morgan Gordon Baker Hugo Fuller Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Saverio Campione Steve Davies	1	As Coltart R got out of his car after a two week hiatus into the freezing night he wondered if he was going to be pulling the strings in tonight’s game or just pulling a hamstring. Turned out it was neither as what he witnessed from his team mates was just class across the pitch. Pre-game warm up several of his team mates recounted how much they had enjoyed the last two weeks games (get the hint Coltart R-Ed) and that they had also scored some wonder goals. Coltart R thought it was a big wind up but as he started in goal (for some extra stretching) he witnessed something special. England had somehow learnt to play football! I know I chunter on in previous reports about quick crisp passing and game awareness but this was on another level. England were 2-0 up before Coltart R came out of goal! Cuddigan H was imperious up front supported with end to end running by Romeo J and Davies M (Mike not Mark). Gorton O was everywhere with even more octopus tackles than usual. Bettink A didn’t stop running and seemed to always be in the right place when needed. Park J mentioned he had listened to a podcast about how to play football and it showed. Please listen to more JP! However MOTM (in my opinion) went to Davies M (Mark not Mike) who clearly must be getting some ass at home as he just brought his A+ game (which I had never seen nor knew he possessed!) Firstly normally when it’s cold he dresses as if he was going skiing but tonight he manned up and was appropriately attired. Secondly he drifted away from hugging only the right side of the pitch something in 15yrs of playing with him I have never seen irrespective of which team he’s on. He popped up everywhere. Thirdly he put in some tackles (notably one or two against Baker G) which won England the ball and then distributed quickly. Fourthly his game chat actually made sense and was at the same pace as the game (he’s usually a move behind!). However the fifth and indisputable fact he’s getting some he volunteered to go in goal…….unheard of in the modern era! He may have also scored but I lost track of who scored. Spain’s goal caused a little bit of confusion as some players were adamant it had not gone in others were adamant it had (I was in the latter camp) but ultimately it was given to spare Spain’s blushes and was scored by their Italian import Campione S! Next week England can expect a tougher challenge as the dream metric team picking machine will lean towards Spain!
Wed, 08/11/2023	England Anton Bettink Daniel Rodger Hugo Cuddigan John Park Mark Davies Rupert Coltart Simon Gillespie Steve Davies	6	Spain Abdelilah Saham Ben Donald Charlie Morgan Gordon Baker Hugo Fuller Nick Warner Pete Davies Saverio Campione	5	Another great game. Credit must go to whoever picks the teams to make sure that the games are balanced and enjoyable. Whoever picks them must be an incredibly good looking, humorous and talented athlete. However what this hero can’t do is regulate the occasional ineptitude of those who went to Oxbridge as yet again someone turned up in kit ready to play for England but had not signed up to play! As such England had an extra man for the whole game and with this advantage the assumption was a comfortable win from the kick off however they nearly fluffed their lines and lost as Spain’s 8 men dug deep and kept pace right up till then end when England were able to sneak a goal and then ran the clock down. Roll on next week
Wed, 01/11/2023	England Anton Bettink Charlie Morgan Daniel Rodger John Park John Romeo Mark Davies Michael Davies Oliver Gorton Rupert Coltart	4	Spain Abdelilah Saham Alexander Hodgson Hugo Fuller Nick Warner Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Saverio Campione Steve Davies	5	Despite being on the losing side tonight’s game was one of the most enjoyable and competitive Worthless games I have played in for a long time. The result could have gone either way (or a draw but that looked unlikely) England started 2 men down and went one nil down after some resilient defence and even a couple of half chances to score. Once England were fully complemented they began to compete and the scoreline went 1-1, 1-2, 2-2, 3-2,3-3,4-3,4-4 & 4-5. Perhaps England switched off once they had control of the game but credit to Spain who kept pressing and scoring. Very good game
Wed, 18/10/2023	England Daniel Rodger Hugo Cuddigan John Park John Romeo Mark Davies Mike Penkethman Oliver Gorton Rupert Coltart	5	Spain Abdelilah Saham Alexander Hodgson Charlie Morgan Gordon Baker Hugo Fuller Michael Davies Paddy Inglis Saverio Campione	8	Pre match build up saw much discussion when Seve asked to be “replaced” for tonight’s game. Shouts of “you can never be replaced Seve merely substituted for tonight” rang around the Worthless forums along with cries of “who can we nutmeg now!” Anyhow Seve’s substitute was none other than hardened baller for hire Chris Hunter who is either very useful for his team or sometimes (though rarely) very useless. Tonight it was the former resulting in a strong Spanish team lining up to avenge the humiliation of the previous week. England perhaps a little over confident from last week failed to see the hurt, revenge and passion in the Spanish eyes, primarily due to most of the England team having cataracts and general poor vision I suspect perhaps a group trip to specsavers? Anyhow as the game started England were playing a little bit of follow the ball en masse football with no real cohesion or plan whereas Spain definitely knew what they were doing and where the goal was cruising into a 5-0 lead leaving England a little shell shocked as every wayward pass or touch was punished along with some woeful England defending. A quick chat before half time allowed England to regroup and then finish the half with an aggregate score of 1-1 to make it 6-1. England’s half time talked evoked Churchill and beaches to find a New England in the second half winning the half 4-2 but ultimately losing 8-5. If only England started the first half as they did the second. Some lovely football at one point had the score at 6-4 but Spain duly and deservedly won the game based on their first half performance: am away next week so some fortunate numpty can scribble some waffle down about the game and hopefully should be back for the 1st Nov game our Halloween special! Presume this year’s kits will be Pumpkins vs Hobgoblins?
Wed, 11/10/2023	England Andy Finch Anton Bettink Daniel Rodger Deven Ghelani Mark Davies Oliver Gorton Rupert Coltart Simon Gillespie	10	Spain Abdelilah Saham Alexander Hodgson Charlie Morgan Hugo Fuller Nick Warner Paddy Inglis Paul Sharp Pete Davies	1	The whole point of having a reserve pool is to enable everyone to get a game in the pool by rotating the players. When the reserve pool rearrange themselves I might as well just leave them to it! As a result England started the game one man down however this didn’t seem to hinder them as they opened up a 3-0 lead and from there it became a question of not would they win but would Spain even score. Once the game was 8 v 8 England left Spain in their wake as they just scored at will. Several England players commented it was the most precise and relaxed game of football they had played in and I believe in a Worthless first every player in the team scored at least one goal including Davies Mike who only played two thirds of the game for England. Despite my numerical issues last week I thankfully was able to keep track of Spain’s score and who scored it was 1 and Davies S! Will review the team dream metric picking algorithm as it may have been a little off tonight!
Wed, 04/10/2023	England Barney Reynolds Charlie Morgan Daniel Rodger Hugo Cuddigan Mark Davies Michael Davies Oliver Gorton Rupert Coltart	3	Spain Alexander Hodgson Ben Donald Gordon Baker Hugo Fuller Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Saverio Campione Steve Davies	6	If complacency by the food of football then play on and indeed England did this evening. Opening up a 3-0 half time lead England took their feet massively off the pedal and suddenly couldn’t put anything together resembling a coherent game plan. Spain took advantage caught up and over took England. At then end of the game a debate broke out as the score. Coltart R thought it was 8-5 but everyone else thought 6-3 leading some speculative players wondering which game or indeed games he was watching/keeping score of and leaving Coltart R wondering if his last 327 match reports were numerically accurate!
Wed, 27/09/2023	England Hugo Cuddigan John Park Mark Davies Oliver Gorton Rupert Coltart Simon Gillespie	5	Spain Alexander Hodgson Ben Donald Charlie Morgan Deven Ghelani Gordon Baker Hugo Fuller Mike Penkethman	5	The Knights of the Round Table featured heavily this evening as England short by two enlisted Arthur and a gentleman who when asked his name said "Call me Lorrick" (herein referred to as CML though he looked more like a Trevor!). Arthur's skills like the lady in the lake were more fantasy than fact however CML was definitely a Sir Lancelot on the pitch. Great skill and pace by CML dismantled Spain to open up a 4-1 lead at half time. Usual half time chat by whichever Worthless team is ahead of “same again lads we can’t botch this up can we?” resulted in England botching the second half up and allowing Spain back into the game. It was almost as if England didn’t know how to play football a carbon copy of the national team! CML had done a Merlin and disappeared onto the wing and seem to be spell bound to stay there and Arthur might as well been looking for Guinevere. 4-4 and a rare flash of genius by Coltart R made it 5-4 to England to spare their blushes but lo apparently it was discount day at the make up shop and England conceded a feeble goal in the dying seconds to allow Spain a draw. However Spain have yet to win a fixture this season!
Wed, 20/09/2023	England Anton Bettink Charlie Morgan Deven Ghelani Hugo Cuddigan John Romeo Mark Davies Michael Davies Rupert Coltart	8	Spain Alexander Hodgson Ben Donald Gordon Baker Hugo Fuller Paddy Inglis Ricky Gill Saverio Campione Steve Davies	4	First game of the season for Coltart R and he nearly didn’t make it into the pitch as the new (and seriously under-signed so we all get tickets) Westway Parking Hours had changed from 8pm to 10pm with a new payment app that was as an unintuitive as its name suggested! Anyhow deciding a ticket maybe a small price to pay for the game he wandered onto the pitch. New strips for the new season caught his eye but what caught his eye even more was that there was one less red shirted player. Sadly Reds were one short and ultimately that proved very costly and perhaps ruined the game somewhat as the teams are generally picked to give a fair balanced game. Ironically not everyone on whites noticed they had the man advantage till half time showing that an Etonian and Cambridge education is perhaps not worth the money! As a result of some whites thinking it was even numbers Spain took advantage and scored the first goal indeed at one point it was 2-2! The turning point was a Cuddigan H goal. Coltart R intercepted a wayward Spanish pass and broke towards the Spanish goal. With Romeo J to his left and Cuddigan H to his right and only two Spanish defenders in front of him he faked a pass to Romeo J and then teed up Cuddigan H with a weighted pass. Deciding the angle for him was too easy Cuddigan H knocked the ball further right making the angle more oblique before drilling it into the bottom left corner! 3-2 up and England cut loose and once comfortably ahead started faffing around with trick passes or over complicated passes allowing Spain to sneak two goals but they were never in any danger! Two games two wins for England! Come on Spain!
Wed, 13/09/2023	England Abdelilah Saham Hugo Cuddigan John Park Mark Davies Mike Penkethman Simon Gillespie Steve Davies	6	Spain Alexander Hodgson Charlie Morgan Hugo Fuller Nick Warner Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Saverio Campione	5	Welcome back new season and new teams (three people from the two teams last season just switched over its not rocket science!) While not playing my “unbiased” spies tell me 6-5 flattered Spain and England should have comfortably won. Rumours of any other goals clearly are fantasy and malign the good Worthless Athletic Name. Shame on you…..
Wed, 28/06/2023	Bolton Wanderers Charlie Morgan Hugo Fuller Mark Davies Mike Penkethman Nick Warner Paul Sharp Saverio Campione Steve Davies	1	West Ham United Alexander Hodgson Daniel Rodger Deven Ghelani Hugo Cuddigan Oliver Gorton Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Rupert Coltart	8	TBH I lost track of the score but umpteen-1 isn’t an option on this poor website (can we get a 4.2ios Mohawk software update please?!?) So I hold my hands up and admit that last night the dream metric team picking analyser failed spectacularly! It also didn’t help that I wanted to play with a good friend who happened to be a great player thereby slightly unbalancing the teams from the get go. Last couple of weeks I have noticed an interesting statistic that the louder and nosier you are as a player the weaker you are as a footballer! Not that I am suggesting if you all shut up you’ll be better footballers and we play in silence (though I honestly believe some of you are incapable of being quiet for less than a second) but I’ve noticed a few players making some loud calls for the ball while saying (loudly) what they’ll do when they get it and then invariably doing nothing of the sort (9 times out of 10 they lose it and the other team score almost immediately!) Anyhow on a balmy and humid night West Ham were 3-0 up in 12 mins and from there Bolton were doomed. Daniel “Jockey” Rodger ran the show for West Ham which allowed the rest of the team time and space to play football and it worked really well. As one Bolton player opined in the pub afterwards “literally everything Daniel and the rest of you did worked and you scored and everything we did also worked…for you!” There were some wonderfully worked goals generally derived from lovely crosses from one side or another that the onrushing Hammer player met with a header or volley or half volley or mis-hit! Coltart R in the second half become monastic in his approach to delivering the perfect cross and everyone for the Hammers had an enjoyable game while Bolton didn’t! Two more games left of the season and already heated discussions about next seasons’s teams……Canvey Island Derby here we come…..or how about simply Oxford United vs Cambridge United though knowing how moronic some of us with our tops we’ll all just turn up in the same blue!
Wed, 21/06/2023	Bolton Wanderers Abdelilah Saham Gordon Baker Hugo Fuller John Romeo Mark Davies Nick Warner Saverio Campione Simon Gillespie	1	West Ham United Alexander Hodgson Anton Bettink Hugo Cuddigan Michael Davies Oliver Gorton Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Rupert Coltart	3	A stern pre match chat from the Hammers skipper that none of last week’s antics were acceptable and while not looking at anyone (Coltart R) show-boating was to be kept to a minimum and in fact none whatsoever. And for once everyone heeded his request! A well-organised Hammers ground out a 3-1 win against a Bolton side who continually kept pushing for a goal and played well. In fact an overall good game of football!
Wed, 14/06/2023	Bolton Wanderers Charlie Morgan Gordon Baker Hugo Fuller Mark Davies Nick Warner Saverio Campione Steve Davies	7	West Ham United Abdelilah Saham Alexander Hodgson Deven Ghelani Hugo Cuddigan Michael Davies Paddy Inglis Paul Sharp Pete Davies	1	Didn’t play but hear a complete reversal of last week and West Ham were awful. I wonder what the differing factor between the results was…..hang on could it be me!
Wed, 07/06/2023	Bolton Wanderers Deven Ghelani Gordon Baker John Dawes Mark Davies Mike Penkethman Paul Sharp Saverio Campione Steve Davies	1	West Ham United Alexander Hodgson Charlie Morgan Daniel Rodger Hugo Cuddigan Michael Davies Pete Davies Richard Aseme Rupert Coltart	8	Tonight was all about West Ham both in Prague and Shepherd’s Bush! Both games utilised the Europa League Conference Ball. The only subtle difference was the scoreline. On paper the teams were meant to be evenly matched however West Ham after last week’s defeat played proper football tonight. Crisp, quick passing to their own team (usually to the oppo!) meant Bolton never really got a look in in the first half despite having an almost equal share of the ball. West Ham just used the ball better and we’re prepared to build up towards the goal rather than their usual frantic hoof and dash tactic. 4-0 at half time and West Ham’s half time chat suggested some complacency and over confidence may help their cause however this was just in jest! Bolton’s half time chat looked more like a funeral or at least a post mortem as they were shell shocked. Could this be a niller some West Hammers thought. As always though the charitable Hodgson A spared Bolton’s blushes when he went in goal by wafting with his fist at a very long distance weak shot. It almost looked like he was shepherding it into his goal! Anyhow despite this donation West Ham continued their dominance and as full time rolled round walked off smugly wondering if their counter parts in Lrague had faired much better! Special mention to Campione S midway through the first half as a high cross came in stood on the edge of the Hammers area and for a split second shaped up as if he was going to do a bicycle kick but just before launching himself common sense kicked in and as he hunched down to pounce just massaged his back and continued on with the game! Credit to him thou a few minutes later for hurling himself as another cross came in and getting a face full of black crumbs! It was slightly entertaining as his timing was off so the ball shot along the face of the goal and then as everyone else was heading off to one side he just flung himself!
Wed, 31/05/2023	Bolton Wanderers Abdelilah Saham Hugo Fuller John Dawes John Romeo Mark Davies Nick Warner Saverio Campione	7	West Ham United Alexander Hodgson Charlie Morgan John Park Michael Davies Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Rupert Coltart	3	I seem to block out games I play badly in. I know the argument could be made therefore how any match reports ever get written! West Ham just were not at the races today for whatever reason. No formation or cohesion allowed Bolton to really score at will. Usual antics of not picking up certain players didnt help. Welcome return to the game of the co-Chariman Warner N added some entertainment. Good to see he hadnt lost any of his skill as usual. Warner N also reminded us of the rules that there is no tackling at least any that occurs is generally accidental and not meant to be aggressive. A little bit of argey bargey by a couple of players seemingly unnecessary. Anyhow just noticed the word "lost" should not be in the above sentence apologies please delete when reading. Role on next week and I promise to write a more detailed report even if we lose!
Wed, 17/05/2023	Bolton Wanderers Abdelilah Saham Ben Donald Deven Ghelani Gordon Baker Hugo Fuller John Dawes Mark Davies Paul Sharp	4	West Ham United Alexander Hodgson Charlie Morgan Hugo Cuddigan Oliver Gorton Paddy Inglis Rupert Coltart Steve Davies	4	Over confidence was West Ham’s undoing tonight. Rarely do the Hammers feel their team is the strongest but tonight we thought we would give Bolton a thumping. However Big Sam would have been proud of tonight’s Bolton team who had the height advantage and used it to full effect in three of their four goals! West Ham started the brightest and pinged the ball gleefully around leaving Bolton chasing shadows. However Bolton did get a few intercepts from over passing and immediately pushed forward with Baker G & Dawes J using their height and strength to muscle into the Hammers back third. A cross for Bolton by Davies M saw Inglis P and Gorton jumping with Baker G and the ball flicking of Inglis P’s head into his own goal for Bolton to take the lead. The Hammers soon pegged them back but just before half time another Bolton cross at pace was met by an almost diving Baker G who headed into the net. 2-1 at half time and the Hammers were bemused that they were not miles ahead. Our veteran striker noted that if we kept our shots under the cross bar and inbetween the two posts we may take the lead. A novel tactic granted and again the Hammers started the half the brighter but soon again conceded to another blasted header! A draw now seemed the only hope for the Hammers who besieged the Bolton goal with wave after wave of attack and this resulted in them actually taking the lead to 4-3. Content that they had won they switched off to allow Baker G to sneak in at the back post after a sumptuous cross from Fuller H allowing Baker G the option of heading or volleying the ball into the net. He chose the later in this instance! Special mention to the Europa League conference ball used everyone liked it. Next week will be a Europa League ball and we’ll finish the season with a Champions League ball. I will be attending the pub for the last few weeks giving notice to this who wish to avoid me!
Wed, 10/05/2023	Bolton Wanderers Gordon Baker Hugo Fuller John Dawes Mark Davies Mike Penkethman Paul Sharp Saverio Campione Simon Gillespie	0	West Ham United Alexander Hodgson Charlie Morgan Deven Ghelani Hugo Cuddigan Michael Davies Oliver Gorton Paddy Inglis Steve Davies	0	Don’t know the result as I was not playing. I was at the San Siro instead watching the 1st leg UCL semifinal AC v Inter and you know what I could have been watching a WAFC game. Indeed we ran these teams in 2013 and while I have not looked back at the match reports tonight’s San Siro had all the hallmarks of Pitch 4 on a Wednesday night. Two teams perhaps surprised to be at this juncture with a few oldies who are beginning to run out of puff and may need to be out out to pasture. Players blaming the pitch and bobble for their wild off target shots when the surface is immaculate. Ball apparently too heavy, a couple of players thinking they are the referee, some silly nudges and a random dive. One team sneaking a lead then sitting and defending deep rest of the game. Honestly don’t know why I spent so much travelling to Milan when I could have driven down to the Westway and watched you lot! The fans were slightly better looking than ours though that is of course not including the great B Davies when he graces our sidelines. Anyhow surreal how art imitates life!
Wed, 26/04/2023	Bolton Wanderers Abdelilah Saham Anton Bettink Charlie Morgan Gordon Baker Hugo Fuller John Dawes Mark Davies Simon Gillespie	3	West Ham United Alexander Hodgson Hugo Cuddigan Michael Davies Mike Penkethman Oliver Gorton Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Steve Davies	3	One of the perks of arranging the teams is if you can play at the last minute you can generally bulldoze yourself into the game! Thus Coltart R was able to twist the Chairman’s arm and make the game a 9 v 9 affair! The odd occasion this has occurred before (not by my bulldozing but by nincompoops thinking they were down to play when they were not) the games have been pretty poor however tonight’s was a belter. The last couple of games I have played in have all been good tight affairs and while not wishing to self-congratulate myself that is in part to picking balanced teams. Everyone was involved and bizarrely the fact we all had less space to move in meant the passing and skill was raised which begs the question is everyone just being lazy when they normally play! Anyhow the usual WAFC scoreline happened where one team goes 3-1 filled with over confidence lets the other side score two for the draw. It must be noted West Ham’s equaliser was scored by Cuddigan H from a whipped along the ground cross which he caught at full speed to drill into the top of the net (nanometers from sending it over!) right on the edge of the area (some say in but not) and on the 99th minute as the fans (other game) wandered on. However they all count!
Wed, 19/04/2023	Bolton Wanderers Dan Herbert Gordon Baker Hugo Fuller John Romeo Mark Davies Saverio Campione Simon Gillespie Steve Davies	4	West Ham United Anton Bettink Charlie Morgan Hugo Cuddigan John Park Michael Davies Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Rupert Coltart	1	Sometimes you have to accept when you have a stinker of a game and tonight Coltart R had such a game. Nothing seemed to go right for him or West Ham which is strange given that even when they are underdogs and up against it they put up a fight. Tonight thought nothing and Bolton’s five or six shots yielded four goals. None of them were particularly inspired goals but they scored more than West Ham and simply played better. Coltart R will skip the next game as he ponders what went wrong and why he turned up so off the pace…..
Wed, 12/04/2023	Bolton Wanderers Deven Ghelani Hugo Fuller John Dawes John Romeo Paul Sharp Saverio Campione	3	West Ham United Anton Bettink Charlie Morgan Michael Davies Mike Penkethman Paddy Inglis Rupert Coltart	4	4-3 to West Ham or 3-3 draw. Without our usual fourth official Baker G it was hard to know as Bettink A headed in a 90mins (+7mins) winner which coincided with a pitch invasion by the fans celebrating wildly (or possibly the next game asking us to leave the pitch). Either way it was a great gritty game of football which involved all 16 players and the standard of football and various points was high. West Ham a bit like Chelsea at the moment were more than capable of getting to the edge of Boston’s area but then didn’t know where to go or what to do. Where is their talismanic striker Cuddigan H?!? Wherever he is please come back! As a result at half time West Ham found themselves two goals down. Boston’s first goal was another Worthless classic as Bolton swung a ball in from the left side only for a goal mouth scramble to ensue and one West Ham player attempted a hefty clearance only for the clearance to ricochet off a team mate and into the goal. When everyone looked around the goal mouth scramble consisted of only 7 West Ham players! Boston’s second was another Worthless usual as West Ham parted like the Red Sea allowing a Bolton player to wander (amble or stroll more like) down the middle of the pitch and score. I never quite knows what drives WAFC teams to suddenly all feel the need to mark out wide simultaneously! Anyhow a stern West Ham half time talk led by grizzled veteran Inglis P seemed to spark a little bit of life into West Ham with Bettink A’s outside-in runs causing Bolton problems and creating more opportunities. Taking nothing away from West Ham it should be noted that Boston’s keeper the normal salmon like jumping Campione S was nursing a sore buttock and so was not as agile as usual. It seemed West Ham didn’t notice this fact either for most of the game however they were soon all square and indeed ahead and looking to be heading for an impressive win until Bolton scrambled home a third. All square an neither side wanting to lose the game became very Italian in its defensive/probing play. As mentioned above a last gasp charge by West Ham with the game possibly being over resulted in a goal and a win for the Hammers!
Wed, 05/04/2023	Bolton Wanderers Charlie Morgan Deven Ghelani Hugo Fuller John Romeo Mark Davies Saverio Campione	4	West Ham United Hugo Cuddigan Oliver Gorton Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Rupert Coltart	7	7 Boltoners took on 7 Hammers with a Carabo Cup feel to the game as the youth squad of WAFC was tapped into with three under 18s playing. It was a fairly close affair being all square at half time but then West Ham found their rhythm and Bolton had no response. Goal of the evening went to Zac Romeo picked the ball up out wide in his own half and charged down the line toward the Hammers goal. Davies P called out to Coltart R “Rupert have you got him covered” to which Coltart R said “no problem I have got him marked” Zac clearly taking offence to this wound up and let rip and unstoppable 35 yard zinger ending up bottom corner opposite side of the goal (Tower Block End/Stand). Coltart R turned sheepishly to Davies P and said “I guess I don’t have him!” But thankfully this blip did not alter the result.
Wed, 08/03/2023	Bolton Wanderers Abdelilah Saham Ben Donald Gordon Baker Hugo Fuller John Romeo Mark Davies Saverio Campione	3	West Ham United Hugo Cuddigan John Dawes Oliver Gorton Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Rupert Coltart Steve Davies	6	Despite a strong Bolton line up West Ham were too good and turned up and played football. Coupled with one of those evenings where everything worked for West Ham meant the scoreline flattered Bolton who could have lost by more. Funny old game.
Wed, 01/03/2023	Bolton Wanderers Ben Donald Gordon Baker Hugo Fuller Mark Davies Michael Davies Saverio Campione Simon Gillespie Steve Davies	2	West Ham United Abdelilah Saham Alexander Hodgson Anton Bettink Charlie Morgan Deven Ghelani Oliver Gorton Pete Davies Rupert Coltart	3	Question: What happens when your most capped defender and striker are unavailable to play? Answer: You win the game. This is indeed what happened to West Ham who like the week before went up against a strong Bolton team but this time emerged victorious. The game was not the expansive and open play of the week before but more a tight, crisp passing affair with lots of niggles and attrition very much like when West Ham's Premiership brothers win their matches! Given the large numbers that read these reports I feel I must point out (again) that any foul or tackle is never intentional as none of us are that talented and so anyone who feels the need to put in a retaliatory tackle for some mishap that befell them earlier needs to calm down as no one intends to injure anyone in our games! The only exception to this (retaliatory) rule and why it never happens anymore is the mythical (though actual) tackle by O'Reilly G that has been told and handed down through the Worthless generations......if you don't know it feel free to ask one of the gnarly veterans and watch them wince!