Match Statistics

Date Team 1 Goals 1 Team 2 Goals 2 Match reports
Wed, 14/04/2021 California
Ben Donald
Hugo Fuller
Martin Calver
Paddy Inglis
Saverio Campione
Tristan Gervais
7 Los Angeles
Charlie Morgan
John Park
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Nick Warner
Steve Davies
2 Displaying the impatience of a nation desperate to get their hands on their first pub pint in over 3 months, the California Surfer dudes (in white for those so colour blind that they’ve yet to work out why their passes go amiss) eventually got their first win in 6 months, taking advantage of their extra 1/2 man (he was only 14) to eventually wreck havoc on a strong Toros side. The Campione kid (Benny) thought the experience was “banging” and has lodged a transfer request with the WAFC management. Missing a string of regulars, who were making a mockery of the law of the land under the pretext of needing to look after second and third homes dotted around the UK during strict-ish COVID regulations, meant that those who did bother turning up (as a pretext to be being able to go to the pub after) endured end to end lung-busting soccer. Switching sides with a third to go, the little kid, with two goals and several sitters missed, brought a glimmer of respectability to the Reds, and a noticeable improvement to their game. Bring on the youth!
Wed, 16/12/2020 California
Charlie Morgan
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Pete Davies
Richard Aseme
Rupert Coltart
Saverio Campione
3 Los Angeles
Alexander Hodgson
Ben Donald
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Martin Calver
Nick Warner
Tristan Gervais
8 It could have been 8-1 but either way California lost. It was a funny game as despite the team sheet before kick off showing 7 v 7 it always felt like LA had an extra man. Whites smarting from not having won for sometime really played some nifty football in the opening 10 minutes but every time they tried to create an overlap or break reds defence, reds seemed to have a man spare. Once reds scored whites began to retreat and unfortunately this just resulted in wave after wave of attacks which usually resulted in a goal. It was the complete opposite to whites as every time whites thought they had man marked or shut reds down reds found space and an overlap like they had an extra man. Whites had to admire reds play and accept defeat manfully safe in the knowledge that no buffoon would forget to sign up to play for reds despite being a regular player for over nine years and often stating Wednesday night footie is a break from the normal week and then turn up anyway and unbalance the teams. Baker G works for the UK government as an aside......no word on a return to play however rumours are we will be permitted once tier 11 kicks in five weeks after it is announced and only once you have purchased and play in the government approve outdoor games attire which think nuclear radiation suit meets deep sea diver with hint of ski off-piste attire. Wishing everyone a Happy and Healthy 2021!
Wed, 09/12/2020 California
Jan Janecek
Michael Davies
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
Saverio Campione
Simon Gillespie
2 Los Angeles
Alexander Hodgson
Ben Donald
Charlie Morgan
Gordon Baker
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Nick Warner
Steve Davies
5 Must try harder. Sounds like one of my school reports and tonight this was applicable to Whites. Use your strengths and exploit your opponent’s weakness is another chestnut cliche however Whites must have misheard and used their weaknesses and exploited Red’s strengths. Reds have been a disciplined bunch last few games. Whites have been more Inspector Clouseauesque. Where the last Red player would turn and pass the ball back to their keeper, any white player would attempt to beat the two on rushing reds players and look surprised when they lost the ball and reds scored. Thankfully none of Whites are in the SAS as their motto “who dares wins” would result in all of us being dead based on some of our speculative “dares” tonight. The parting of the Red Sea (get it?- Ed) was another feature of Whites defence as when a red player got the ball in the middle of the park Whites hugged the side of the pitches frantically marking space. The final observation for Whites to ponder is “when was the last time you....” This question should be asked by all White players the moment before they shoot or pass and insert what they are about to do into the question e.g as a white player is about to strike the ball at an acute angle to opponent’s goal closer to their goal then the opponents on their weaker foot they should think “hmmm when was the last time I hit a 57 yrds top corner screamer using the outside of my weaker foot?” If the answer is within the last ten days sure give it a go, if in the last few years hey it would be something special to talk about in the pub, IF however (as I suspect) the answer is never pundits might suggest a plan B of “hey my teammate is six yds away and in space”. All this doomongering (is that even a scrabble word?-Ed) should not detract from the enjoyment of the game as after all its not the winning that counts....right?
Wed, 02/12/2020 California
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Fuller
Michael Davies
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
Saverio Campione
1 Los Angeles
Alexander Hodgson
Ben Donald
Mark Davies
Martin Calver
Mayamiko Kachingwe
Nick Warner
Steve Davies
Tristan Gervais
8 Had reds held several illegal strategy meetings during lockdown lite 2.0?!? While I am about to waffle below in short reds turned up, boy did they turn up. On paper reds may have been a tiny bit stronger but not by this margin and indeed the score could have been more I lost count after we were 6-0 odd down to focus on sneaking a goal somehow. The strange thing was whites played some decent football in patches but in the final third couldn’t score thus mirroring their trips to peppermint hippo throughout their lifetime. Reds though had more box to box players. During lockdown I took up jogging fat lot of use that proved to be I couldn’t get box to box in our own box! Haller R determined to get a goal decided once the game was effectively over at 6-0 to control the ball effortlessly and tap it into his own goal. If only he had been so minded to do it at the other end! Good keeping by the collective red team too as whites did have a bunch of shots on target. It would be unfair thou to say everything went reds way while nothing did for whites but I am unfair so there I said it! Well played reds but rest assured whites will hold their own secret meeting between now and next week to seek revenge. Be tedious if we lose after that threat! Let’s see. Good to see everyone back and well though and a mention to Hugo F who was the first person to use the Worthless Track and Trace app and a bigger mention to Hugo C recovering from surgery but hopefully (that is at least whites are hoping) playing for reds soon!
Wed, 04/11/2020 California
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Fuller
Michael Davies
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
2 Los Angeles
Alexander Hodgson
Ben Donald
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Nick Warner
Steve Davies
Tristan Gervais
5 Last game before lockdown (lite) 2.0 saw a 9 v 8 affair. Campione S wins the dunce award for not registering his availability but still turning up (late) anyway and thus making the rejigging of teams at the start worthless (AFC!). A man down whites bravely did their best against a strong red team. Inglis P drafted in his "son" called Sol. This young gentleman was quick with good skill and vision and could play with both feet leading some in the pub afterwards to speculate was this Inglis P's son! The pub was as usual enforcing (albanian) social distancing with an impressive number of large multi-racial, same and different sex families gathering of all ages. Hopefully we will all use these four weeks to increase our skill and fitness for the renewal of the season and fingers crossed we get a game in before 2021! Stay fit and healthy everyone and your families too.
Wed, 28/10/2020 California
David Esfandi
Hugo Fuller
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Rupert Coltart
Saverio Campione
Vatche Manoukian
8 Los Angeles
Ben Donald
Charlie Morgan
John Park
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Nick Warner
Tristan Gervais
7 Tonight saw a reunion on the white team of the striking threesome of the fabled Westminster 3rd XI of 1996-97 season affectionately known as the "Mighty Turds". Just like the 2003-4 Arsenal team this super squad of players were unbeaten with an astonishing record of played 1 drawn 1. What had changed in the last 24 years? It has been an uphill battle but the answer quite simply.....knowing their actual ability! Despite some early game chat such as "my physio told me I have a high concentration of fast twitch muscles!" This elite cadre of striking prowess actually played some wonderful football ably assisted by the regular white team to open up an 8-1 half time score line. Then 24 years of inactivity and usual over confidence kicked in and a hanging on by the seat of our pants last few minutes which involved some tacticaly time wasting by drilling two balls into the trees outside our pitch which were sadly never recovered. Oh well £60 in the toilet to have such a fun reunion was well worth it!
Wed, 21/10/2020 California
Hugo Fuller
Michael Davies
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Rupert Coltart
Sameer Godbole
Simon Gillespie
Tristan Gervais
9 Los Angeles
Alexander Hodgson
Ben Donald
John Park
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Nick Warner
Richard Aseme
Steve Davies
1 It could have been 8 or 10 or even 11 whites lost count or interest after 5-0 at half time. A strange match as one could arguably argue that reds were the stronger team, certainly the worthlessafc top trumps suggested so and these will be available online and stocked in all disreputable retailers for Christmas (if Christmas still exists or hasn’t been moved to February as per Cummings D!).
Wed, 14/10/2020 California
Charlie Morgan
Michael Davies
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
Saverio Campione
Simon Gillespie
3 Los Angeles
Alexander Hodgson
Ben Donald
Gordon Baker
John Park
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Nick Warner
Sameer Godbole
6 There was only one team in tonight’s game. I literally mean one team as whites decided to play with/for reds tonight and ably assisted them to a man in helping reds score at least 5 of their 6 goals. How whites scored 3 goals is a mystery to me. I suspect whites were equally miffed and consider these own goals and bitterly disappointed to have let reds down!
Wed, 07/10/2020 California
Hugo Fuller
Michael Davies
Nick Haigh
Oliver Gorton
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
Saverio Campione
Simon Gillespie
1 Los Angeles
Alexander Hodgson
Ben Donald
Gordon Baker
Harry Harland
John Park
Nick Warner
Richard Aseme
Tristan Gervais
1 So tonight saw 9 v 9. The additions were Davies M for Reds and Inglis P for Whites. Clearly age is catching up to some of us after however many years they’ve been playing they forgot to sign up but turned up. Suppose we should be thankful they got the day right! However what a cracking game it was and perhaps we should always play 9 v 9 as it forces us all to play good quick football and there are no breakaway goals. We also started and finished on time so had a proper game too. Whites could have snuck it but VAR (Baker G) ruled Coltart R was comfortably inside the box. After some incredulous and disbelieving looks from Coltart R along with some sulking and foot stomping the game resumed and neither side could break the deadlock. Everyone had a good game so a draw was a fair worthless result.
Wed, 30/09/2020 California
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Fuller
Michael Davies
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
Simon Gillespie
4 Los Angeles
Alexander Hodgson
Ben Donald
Gordon Baker
John Park
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Sameer Godbole
Steve Davies
3 A tight affair saw LA just sneak the win with the usual Worthless antics of one team opening up a lead only to be pegged back and enduring a squeaky bum last 15mins. Worth pointing out we started late and finished early which does not mean we are getting value for money!
Wed, 23/09/2020 California
Hugo Fuller
Nick Haigh
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
Sameer Godbole
Saverio Campione
5 Los Angeles
Alexander Hodgson
Charlie Morgan
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Michael Davies
Nick Warner
Steve Davies
Tristan Gervais
3 Tonight the theory of team with most Davieses wins was broken. While reds had 3 to whites 1 one man decided that this previously working theory should be smashed. That man was Haigh N who basically glued whites together in a cohesive unit and was the centre of their web as every move pretty much ran through him. Reds had no real response. Game over...
Wed, 16/09/2020 California
Ben Donald
Hugo Fuller
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
Saverio Campione
Simon Gillespie
1 Los Angeles
Alexander Hodgson
Charlie Morgan
Gordon Baker
John Park
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Nick Warner
Steve Davies
3 And so we are back to the Hallowed Turf of W10 after a period of tumultuous chaos not seen since Warner N claimed in the pub long ago he actually had gainful employment and was not a professional amateur sportsman (I could believe professional amateur -Ed). Jokes aside it is good to see that everyone is well and healthy and fitness levels have been maintained. After some friendly banter by Romeo J with the Herman Munster coach of the game before we kicked off as usual...late. The game was a timid affair as everyone was just finding their groove and getting back into "playing mode" there was certainly some nice lateral passing but nothing of any great note. As always with a little break people's timing was a little off and a few accidental fouls and nudges crept in. The first goal was an opportune moment by Warner N, who saw Coltart R and Fuller H debating whether the later should come out of goal for the former. Warner N struck the ball as Coltart R was turning around to face the game and random instinct (is there such a thing?) saw him lean into the shot and deflect the ball passed Fuller H. Half time 1-0 to LA. The second goal was a sweet angled strike by Baker G (or a miss-hit to the rest of us) that left Coltart R stranded. Reporters are unsure who scored the third goal for LA but whoever it was saw an opportune moment to strike as Coltart R and Gorton O were debating whether the later should come out of goal for the former (sound familiar!). This time as Gorton O wandered into goal and turned around he slipped on something and the ball rolled under him as he flew into the air. All effort by California then went into avoid niller mode which thankfully they did. MOTM Donald B: his pass completion rate was 100%. 50% to California and 50% to LA. With the ever shifting sands who knows if we will be playing next week! Stay healthy & safe
Wed, 26/02/2020 Belgium
Alexander Hodgson
Mark Davies
Nick Warner
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Richard Aseme
Steve Davies
Tristan Gervais
2 Zaire
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Cuddigan
Hugo Fuller
James Arbib
Michael Davies
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
William Stevenson
4 The atmosphere in the cauldron of dreams that is Westway pitch 4 was electric and the crowd (um do you mean the one chap peeing in the basket ball court or the lady who was on her phone walking to her tennis game?-Ed) was buzzing in anticipation as the Zaire striker Cuddigan H made his hotly anticipated return. And he did not disappoint. His trade mark toe-pokes & mis-timed headers allowed Zaire to open up a 3-0 lead. As usual Zaire then thought the game was wrapped up after 25mins and decided to let Belgium launch wave after wave of attacks which meant they pulled it back to 3-2. Somehow Zaire held on and sneaked a goal on the break. However despite the tension of the final 20 minutes the night belonged to Cuddigan H and his brazil socks and tight shorts!
Wed, 19/02/2020 Belgium
Mark Davies
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Richard Aseme
- Zaire
Alexander Hodgson
Deven Ghelani
Hugo Fuller
Steve Brooke
- Tonight's game was a Hodgson A All Stars against an Inglis Assorted Bunch of Worthless Regulars. A no show by Brooke S (hugely frustrating) meant that IABW started a player down against a younger team who used the extra man to great effect and soon were two goals up. These goals were more gifts by IABW than HAAS creating great goal-scoring opportunities. Coltart R decided to show his manliness by getting annoyed with one of the smaller players on the pitch and losing his temper which really wan uncool and uncalled for. Apology to said player. Overall though IABW had their work cut out for them and while pegging HAAS back to all square in the middle of the game ran out of steam and succumbed to a late flurry of goals. Some good players on HAAS. Back to business as usual next week minus Brooke S!
Wed, 12/02/2020 Belgium
Alexander Hodgson
Mark Davies
Nick Warner
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Richard Aseme
Saverio Campione
Steve Davies
3 Zaire
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Fuller
John Romeo
Michael Davies
Mike Penkethman
Nick Haigh
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
3 Tonight's report focuses on one worthless individual who I believe I wrote a lengthy op-ed piece on last year. Yes the match was a draw, yes the usual drivel that passed as football was played but there was one moment of real class that pretty much shone through tonight and possible shone over the season. It was a small piece of skill quite simple but so deft and subtle that it nearly confused both teams. I am talking about Davies M back heel in the second half on the edge of Belgium's area. Davies M was running at full tilt heading from right to left in front of the Belgium goal and granted while possibly having lost control of the ball and letting it get ahead of him he still persevered and as the ball fell between a number of Belgiums who were all in touching distance of the ball his determination to get stuck into the game meant that he jumped in between the onrushing Belgiums at some danger to himself and selflessly off balance back heeled the ball out of nowhere into an on rushing Zaireian (made the word up again!) who was able to slot the ball home without the keeper or anyone from Belgium moving as they all thought Davies M still had the ball and was heading eastwards possibly towards the next pitch! MOTD would be replaying this touch from every angle if they had been following tonight's game. No need to mention the scorer of such a sweet move but it was me!
Wed, 29/01/2020 Belgium
Alexander Hodgson
Gordon Baker
Mark Davies
Martin Calver
Oliver Gorton
Richard Aseme
Saverio Campione
Steve Davies
6 Zaire
Barney Reynolds
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Fuller
Michael Davies
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
Simon Gillespie
Steve Brooke
11 It was 10-1 at one point midway through the second half. Not even Zaire could throw that lead away! Last quarter of the game Zaire took their foot off as they went for the spectacular rather than the practical. The reason for this thumping rests solely with one phrase and one player.nReynolds B gave a master class in goal-hanging literally camping in the oppos final quarter for most of the game. Belgium forgot this not only once or twice but nine times and were always perplexed and somewhat bemused every time Zaire got the ball in their own half hoofed it forward and an unmarked Reynolds B picked up the ball and scored. Each Belgium player thought one of their teammates were defending when in fact they were not!
Wed, 22/01/2020 Belgium
Andy Krick
Gordon Baker
Mark Davies
Nick Warner
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Saverio Campione
3 Zaire
Alexander Hodgson
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Fuller
Michael Davies
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
Simon Gillespie
Steve Davies
3 When I scroll through my previous drivel I note that this seasons games pretty much fall into two camps. Either Zaire get spanked like a naughty boy in a dominatrix dungeon or Zaire play the better football, dominate the game and generally should win and end up drawing. Tonight was the latter then I headed off for the former! Belgium could argue their aged team showed grit and determination to hang in and sneak a draw but that would be whatever our PM’s middle name is Puffle Wuffle. Zaire simply bottled it. Coltart R returning from a lengthy lay off & was gloriously ineffective as he just got the ball and ran in circles with it! Anyhow we all wish Krick A a good loan spell in France having been signed by Chamonix AFC in the January transfer window. See some of you tomorrow
Wed, 18/12/2019 Belgium
Andy Krick
Ben Donald
Gordon Baker
Mark Davies
Oliver Gorton
Saverio Campione
4 Zaire
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Cuddigan
Hugo Fuller
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
Tristan Gervais
3 So if you don’t turn up wanting to win a game you won’t win even if you are the superior team. This is the general behind the scenes moan of most top tier premiership managers when they get beaten by lower teams like say Tottenham. Zaire had all the gear but no idea tonight as despite playing better football they were a bit laisez faire with their approach and let Belgium sneak the win. Merry Christmas everyone to you and your families and a happy and prosperous 2020 too. Next time you see me fingers crossed I will he married and with a new baby!
Wed, 11/12/2019 Belgium
Gordon Baker
Saverio Campione
- Zaire
Hugo Fuller
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
- First night back on the freshly laid pitch 4 and what was the difference from the old pitch? More black rubber bits in your shoes, longer grass so the ball holds up and a distinct lack of Worthless players. Credit tonight should go to Hodgson A who rustled up 5 players so thereby providing 33% of the players. In a break from this season’s colonial struggles a Hodgson All-Stars in Blue (though they were told black) took on a Worthless Not too shiny-Stars in White in an enjoyable and end to end 8 v 8 game. Tonight’s game enjoyably highlighted the Worthless striking prowess. We struck the post, the fence, the concrete flyover supports & pretty much anything but the goal. This resulted in Blues taking the lead with their first foray into White’s last third. 1-0 at half time and some sensible chat from all the white team (at the same time) resulted in whites pulling together to sneak a win though. Next week I think is the Christmas dinner so let’s see who can make this. Thanks again thou to Hodgson A. Goodnite all
Wed, 27/11/2019 Belgium
Andy Krick
Gordon Baker
Mark Davies
Mayamiko Kachingwe
Nick Warner
Oliver Gorton
Saverio Campione
- Zaire
Alexander Hodgson
Harry Harland
Hugo Fuller
James Walters
Nick Haigh
Richard Aseme
Rupert Coltart
- Where to start this match report?!? Firstly the larger pitch 4 is being resurfaced and so we were moved onto the alleged 6-a-side pitch known as pitch 5. Secondly the match started some ten minutes late due to a pitch invasion of cretinous morons who were convinced they had the pitch booked. We muscled them off by calling the Westway manager Louise! Thirdly Coltart R switched to Belgium as there were more regulars playing for Belgium this evening and so he thought he had balanced the teams by switching and while the score tonight is irrelevant (Belgium won comfortably actually land-slide) a more amazing revelation occurred. I have discovered that over the last 15yrs I have been playing Worthless football you all have been deliberately playing badly to make me believe I was the best player on the pitch!!!! To those regulars who were not playing I bet you are furious with the regulars who were. How have I worked out your ruse? Well tonight’s pitch was a six v six affair on a smaller pitch than usual. If you watch professional top teams train they spend hours and hours playing small pitch ticky-tacky football so when they move onto a bigger pitch they carry the small size pitch in their heads and play that game on the bigger pitch. Imagine my surprise and awe when everyone who usually lumps around on the big pitch shed their act and suddenly were playing quick, simple accurate one two passes and moving like one unit up and down the pitch! I couldn’t get a touch let alone involved as the ball and game shot by me in a blur. Davies M, Gorton O, Campione S & Krick A would have stuffed a Real Madrid 5-a-side team with their breathless give and go’s, playing the way they were facing and deft no look passes! Now that I have realised this remarkable 15yrs ruse to make me feel good midway through the week I am not too sure I can continue to play at least definitely not on Pitch 5! I’ll be back when we move back to Pitch 4 and probably just sit in goal!
Wed, 13/11/2019 Belgium
Alexander Hodgson
Andy Krick
Gordon Baker
James Walters
Mark Davies
Nick Warner
Oliver Gorton
Saverio Campione
5 Zaire
Arthur Campbell
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Fuller
James Arbib
John Romeo
Michael Davies
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
5 Zaire will rue the fact they should have won this game and while drawers they must be feeling like losers (so no change for most of the team-Ed). 2-1 down they then raced to a 5-3 which they could not hold onto for some reason. I would also like to propose a debate "this house believes that if you are or feel like you've been fouled pipe up (or not) and everyone simply accepts it gracefully. Everybody else's views should be kept to themselves!"
Wed, 06/11/2019 Belgium
Alexander Hodgson
Ed Marsh
Gordon Baker
Harry Harland
James Walters
Mark Davies
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
5 Zaire
Charlie Morgan
Deven Ghelani
Hugo Cuddigan
Hugo Fuller
James Arbib
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
Sameer Godbole
5 Stamford Bridge had nothing on this end to end fiesta of football. Zaire were Belgium as they were coasting 2-1 ahead ten minutes into the game when their talismaniac striker Cuddigan H injured himself in a reflex top left corner save tipping the ball over the bar (really? I don't quite remember the events like that-Ed) and left the pitch thereby leaving Zaire a man short. However they were not to be oppressed and while Belgium equalised and took the lead Zaire to a man keep working across the pitch and kept pegging Belgium back. To be fair stats will show that Zaire had more one on one chances and perhaps like Ajax the evening before might feel slightly aggrieved they did not pinch it. Almost every goal was special too. Several top left and rights, one in off the side post, a nutmeg this game really had it all. TIll next week!
Wed, 30/10/2019 Belgium
Andy Krick
Gordon Baker
Mark Davies
Martin Calver
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Saverio Campione
Tristan Gervais
4 Zaire
Alexander Hodgson
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Cuddigan
Hugo Fuller
John Romeo
Michael Davies
Richard Aseme
Rupert Coltart
5 It may have been 4-3 but either way Zaire sneaked it. Winter is coming as on the first chilly night of this season a scrappy game unfolded much like the one happening 220 miles away at Anfield. It was always going to take one player to drag their team to victory and thankfully for Zaire tonight it was Fuller H. At the start of the game the self styled guv'nor of Zaire Aseme R instructed "his" team to play quick simple two or three touch football and pass to the nearest team mate as quickly as possible. One quiet Zaireian (possible made that word up!-Ed) just listened and looked contemptuously at Aseme R. Fuller H was not going to be shackled by such an amateur plan for him it was a night all about one touch and even no touch football. Simple passes were banished as he showed off his long range passing skills from both his left foot and right foot. Granted the pass may have just gone to space but that was not his fault his teammates just lacked vision.....when through on goal with no one around but Gorton O to beat he was too embarrassed to score and so just tapped the ball softly to Gorton O and only once all of Belgium were back behind the ball and he had his back to their goal did he show his true skill as he effortlessly pivoted and while marginally off balance drilled the ball low and true between both sets of players into the bottom left corner. When in goal he knew his team needed to improve and stay alert without him playing outfield so a series of clever distributions to either the teammate surrounded by the largest number of Belgium players or again a simple lob to a Belgium player kept his teammates on their toes and ensured the victory. A shining performance of true player-management without saying a word....effortless by a master!
Wed, 09/10/2019 Belgium
Alexander Hodgson
Andy Krick
Gordon Baker
Mark Davies
Mike Penkethman
Nick Warner
Paddy Inglis
Sameer Godbole
2 Zaire
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Cuddigan
Hugo Fuller
James Arbib
John Romeo
Michael Davies
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
4 The old adage “team with more Davies wins” as one side had 2 and one 1. Oddly the score was double their numbers (or was it 5 v 3) suggesting the rest of us could have stayed at home in this mirror result (what do you mean?-Ed). Anyhow in a scrappy affair it always takes one person to grab the game by the scruff of the neck and own it. That one man was Cuddigan H and he played for Zaire. Despite Belgium targeting this danger man with fouls and heckles Cuddigan H kept his composure to register two goals and at least one assist Already over taking his stats from last season! What inspired him can only be attributed to his replica £3.97 Brazil socks. Based on this the rest of the team has had a whip around to get him some Brazil replica shorts! Regrettably the £2.83 raised will only get us a child’s pair but even this should bring about some improvement if only aerodynamically. However children should probably not watch the games now just in case......am off for some high-intensity beach training so will leave the honour of scribbling this self-indulgent nonsense to someone else. I liked last week’s report very succinct and minimalist!
Wed, 25/09/2019 Belgium
Alexander Hodgson
Andy Krick
Gordon Baker
Mark Davies
Nick Warner
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Saverio Campione
3 Zaire
Barney Reynolds
Hugo Cuddigan
Hugo Fuller
James Arbib
John Romeo
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
Simon Gillespie
- Sometimes seeking independence is not a good idea and Zaire demonstrated that with a woeful performance. It was certainly my worst game for a long time. Belgium were just hungrier than Zaire and ran and hustled. Zaire didn’t do themselves any favours. As Belgium broke towards the Zaire goal, Zaire decided a change of keeper was the best idea rather than defending or shutting down the onrushing Belgium player allowing a soft goal to be conceded. Zaire could have been on the pitch all night and still probably not scored even if Belgium had been in the pub! More structure needed from Zaire otherwise going to be a tough season ahead. New kits look good thou fingers crossed they don’t shrink in the wash. Why not buy XLs!