Match Statistics

Date Team 1 Goals 1 Team 2 Goals 2 Match reports
Wed, 06/03/2024 England
Abdelilah Saham
Ben Donald
Hugo Cuddigan
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Mike Penkethman
Oliver Gorton
Ricky Gill
2 Spain
Alexander Hodgson
Charlie Morgan
Deven Ghelani
Hugo Fuller
Michael Davies
Nick Warner
Pete Davies
Steve Davies
4 An unusually peaceful fixture given the relative turmoil of previous weeks. Reds with some very tidy and free-flowing first half football, leading to 4 goals of which at least 2 were quality headers. Whites won the second half 2-0 as inevitably Alex Hodgson started focusing on the pub but, to be fair, this was also because Gorton made a string of quality saves for whites, preventing Spain from adding to her first half tally. More games like this please. A much better atmosphere without Rupert and Gordon's incessant bickering!
Wed, 28/02/2024 England
Hugo Cuddigan
Mark Davies
Michael Davies
Mike Penkethman
Oliver Gorton
Ricky Gill
4 Spain
Alexander Hodgson
Gordon Baker
Nick Warner
Paddy Inglis
Saverio Campione
5 Another strange niggly game with the odd temper and foul flaring up unnecessarily in my opinion. Spain this time went 4-0 up. England mounted a comeback and were on the verge of pulling level but sadly ran out of time.
Wed, 21/02/2024 England
Daniel Rodger
Deven Ghelani
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Michael Davies
Mike Penkethman
Oliver Gorton
Rupert Coltart
6 Spain
Abdelilah Saham
Alexander Hodgson
Ben Donald
Hugo Fuller
Nick Warner
Paddy Inglis
Ricky Gill
Saverio Campione
7 “Pillock”- that was the one word my wife has uttered to be me about my football career in 11years. It occurred this evening! Normally she doesn’t take an interest in my football activities but in passing when I got home she asked “how was the game?” I must confess to misunderstanding her level of interest in that question as I launched into a minute by minute rerun of the game. The upshot I told her was we were 6-3 ahead and lost 6-7. Her response is noted above! England were 4-0 up at half time joking not to blow the game in their team talk and keep the style and tactics that had worked so well in the first half. What followed in the next 25mins was a blur of goals as 10 were scored and England didn’t quite know what was happening as they blew the lead allowing Spain to sneak back into the game and the go ahead. To paraphrase my wife - bunch of pillocks!
Wed, 07/02/2024 England
Anton Bettink
Charlie Morgan
Deven Ghelani
Hugo Cuddigan
Mark Davies
Rupert Coltart
Simon Gillespie
Steve Davies
4 Spain
Abdelilah Saham
Alexander Hodgson
Nick Warner
Paddy Inglis
Paul Sharp
Pete Davies
Ricky Gill
Saverio Campione
4 I think the Worthless mantra and reason for being lost its way a little tonight. The enjoyment of playing with friends and friends/acquaintances of friends for my worthless playing career at least is the enjoyment for me. Yes the result matters to a degree but only if we play in a fair and relaxed manner. Tonight the game was not an enjoyable affair lots of squabbles and silly calls by players (myself included) and a few little skirmishes among sets of players. The result was the heir-achy called time early a sensible move to avoid things spilling over. Normally it’s Baker G as the focal for any disagreements but without him playing tonight you could almost make the claim (if you were a stark raving blind madman) that he actually soothes and balances the game! Equally Warner N making a birthday appearance after a long layout brought the worst out of us (again see madman definition above). Joking aside please remember no one means to foul you (I hope) no one means to handball or trip over it all happens in a game and should be expected as part of the worthless experience which should be a relaxed and enjoyable game and if you don’t like it don’t play it’s quite simple.
Wed, 31/01/2024 England
Anton Bettink
Deven Ghelani
Hugo Cuddigan
Mark Davies
Oliver Gorton
Rupert Coltart
Simon Gillespie
Steve Davies
4 Spain
Abdelilah Saham
Alexander Hodgson
Ben Donald
Gordon Baker
Hugo Fuller
Paddy Inglis
Pete Davies
Ricky Gill
3 Sometimes you need a bit of luck to win a game and tonight that luck was with England. There was a little hand ringing in the England camp the afternoon before kick off as seeing the strength in the Spanish camp unnerved a few players and reminded them of the thumping Spain handed out a few weeks ago (see reports ad passim). However 8pm the teams took to the field. 8.11pm they kicked off after the usual faffing around. England were pretty much camped in their own half as they absorbed Spain’s relentless assault on their goal. They held firm and dared to believe they could score. They pushed forward and soon found themselves 1-0 down! Half time there was some belief that they were in the game but it was going to be very difficult to turn it around. At the start of the second half a complete switch off by England allowed a simple midfield pass by a Spanish player straight past every Englishman to Baker G who slotted it home. 2-0 Spain and a mountain for England to climb as Spain just decamped to their goal. This allowed England to play a little further forward and on one of their attacks the ball pinged high out from a Spanish header to the half way line where Coltart R was standing. In his head he envisaged striking the ball sweetly on the half volley and it cruising like a missle into the top left corner with a hint of swerve and dip to avoid the 14 players of both teams in front of him. In reality while it did end up in the top left corner Coltart R sliced the ball horribly and it sky rocketed up into the heavens hitting the A40 Shepherd’s Bush slip road support column and angling back down to bounce in front of the Spanish keeper (Saham A) and into the goal! An archaic Worthless rules permits such goals as quite frankly some matches we’d never score if that wasn’t allowed such is the woefulness of our shooting! So with Rule 17 Paragraph 6 Subsection 3 Point 2 Enforced it was 2-1 and perhaps game on. It was game on when a shellshocked Spain allowed Ghelani D to shoot ina roughly similar position to Coltart R. While Ghelani D’s strike stayed below 3 metres high the fact he struck it sweetly with his shin (no easy feat I am told) meant it viciously swerved and dipped and was never going to saved. 2-2 and England dared to believe it was coming home. And indeed it did as England broke quickly down the left with Bettink A who crossed a beautifully weighted ball along the ground for the onrushing Cuddigan H to drill into the net and sparked mad wild celebrations (which in English public school terms meant one person said “yes” quietly while the rest turned and trudged back to the halfway line as if they’d conceded!) 3-2 and a dejected Spain had no reply indeed they almost switched off as England had complete possession last 5mins knocking the ball around over all manner of distances. Will Spain respond next week? Stay tuned if you have nothing better to do which I doubt!
Wed, 24/01/2024 England
Anton Bettink
Ben Donald
Deven Ghelani
Hugo Cuddigan
John Park
Mark Davies
Oliver Gorton
- Spain
Alexander Hodgson
Charlie Morgan
Gordon Baker
Hugo Fuller
Mike Penkethman
Pete Davies
Saverio Campione
- No idea but clearly not a good game as I wasn’t there!
Wed, 17/01/2024 England
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Cuddigan
Mark Davies
Michael Davies
Oliver Gorton
Rupert Coltart
Simon Gillespie
Steve Davies
6 Spain
Abdelilah Saham
Alexander Hodgson
Barney Reynolds
Gordon Baker
Hugo Fuller
Mike Penkethman
Paddy Inglis
Ricky Gill
3 While England fielded the same team that got thumped last week Spain switched up two players. I never would have thought that Spain without those two players would have led to a five goal swing in England’s favour! Donald B & Campione S I apologise for ever doubting your quiet, steely almost imperceivable effect you have on the pitch! Granted Spain still boasted quality and it was no easy feat for England to win but without the dynamic duo Spain were undone. The first half was a tense even affair as England did not want to concede and have an uphill battle. England also seemed to be slightly playing in a sort of AI/algorithmic way as they probed Spain’s defences reacted to their attacks and appeared to learn and adapt and produce better quality football. The turning point of the game was at 2-2 just before then end of the first half England snuck ahead. Spain tried to respond which allowed England to counter attack and score and then 4-2 Spain were playing catch up and England shut up shop. Game over
Wed, 10/01/2024 England
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Cuddigan
John Park
Mark Davies
Michael Davies
Oliver Gorton
Rupert Coltart
Steve Davies
1 Spain
Abdelilah Saham
Alexander Hodgson
Ben Donald
Gordon Baker
Hugo Fuller
Paddy Inglis
Ricky Gill
Saverio Campione
4 I can only think of a couple of times in my life where I have walked off a pitch thinking I was completely outplayed and tonight was one of those nights. A very strong Spanish side put England to the sword and England’s goal flattered England as it came about due to a Spanish error. Where Spain had organisation and purpose England had chaos and indecision. Spain actually had an effective press and that prompted England into a raft of errors and mis-passes coupled with the usual faffing in defence. Credit to Spain.
Wed, 13/12/2023 England
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Cuddigan
John Park
Mark Davies
Michael Davies
Oliver Gorton
Rupert Coltart
3 Spain
Alexander Hodgson
Deven Ghelani
Paddy Inglis
Paul Sharp
Pete Davies
Saverio Campione
Steve Davies
4 For the neutral spectator this was a great end to end game of 7 v 7 football with the advantage swinging from one side to another. To England this was just an annoying game. They had the majority of play and were camped in Spain's final third a lot but for some reason could not put the ball into the back of the net and therefore succumbed to a loss. Nothing remarkable other than Coltart R chested the ball out of play only to not be able to find the ball at the end of the game. When he said he would replace the ball to its owner, Hodgson A said "don't bother it was getting old anyway" however a second later remembered that it was actually the ball he'd been given by Messi L which had won Argentina the world cup and therefore would happily take a bank transfer of £17500 which in his opinion was a low-ball valuation but was happy with given that we are chums. I duly popped the cheque in the post with a no class stamp!
Wed, 06/12/2023 England
Anton Bettink
Hugo Cuddigan
John Romeo
Michael Davies
Mike Penkethman
Oliver Gorton
Rupert Coltart
6 Spain
Deven Ghelani
Hugo Fuller
Nick Warner
Paddy Inglis
Paul Sharp
Saverio Campione
Steve Davies
3 I was about to blame Gorton O for turning up uninvited (or unsigned up anyway) however it looks like he was down to play so my opening joke is ruined! Anyhow England had an extra man for an unknown reason. There was worry that no one had a ball till Sharp P rocked up with a nice football. England seemed massively over confident that they would easily win the game with the extra man however Spain gave them a run for their money and went into half time 3-2 up. A little shell shocked almost every England player removed at least one item of clothing at half time and after a quick huddle to discuss how silly it was they were losing properly turned up in the second half and dispatched Spain with four unanswered goals to win comfortably.
Wed, 29/11/2023 England
Anton Bettink
Hugo Cuddigan
John Park
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Michael Davies
Oliver Gorton
Rupert Coltart
6 Spain
Alexander Hodgson
Charlie Morgan
Gordon Baker
Hugo Fuller
Paddy Inglis
Pete Davies
Saverio Campione
Steve Davies
1 As Coltart R got out of his car after a two week hiatus into the freezing night he wondered if he was going to be pulling the strings in tonight’s game or just pulling a hamstring. Turned out it was neither as what he witnessed from his team mates was just class across the pitch. Pre-game warm up several of his team mates recounted how much they had enjoyed the last two weeks games (get the hint Coltart R-Ed) and that they had also scored some wonder goals. Coltart R thought it was a big wind up but as he started in goal (for some extra stretching) he witnessed something special. England had somehow learnt to play football! I know I chunter on in previous reports about quick crisp passing and game awareness but this was on another level. England were 2-0 up before Coltart R came out of goal! Cuddigan H was imperious up front supported with end to end running by Romeo J and Davies M (Mike not Mark). Gorton O was everywhere with even more octopus tackles than usual. Bettink A didn’t stop running and seemed to always be in the right place when needed. Park J mentioned he had listened to a podcast about how to play football and it showed. Please listen to more JP! However MOTM (in my opinion) went to Davies M (Mark not Mike) who clearly must be getting some ass at home as he just brought his A+ game (which I had never seen nor knew he possessed!) Firstly normally when it’s cold he dresses as if he was going skiing but tonight he manned up and was appropriately attired. Secondly he drifted away from hugging only the right side of the pitch something in 15yrs of playing with him I have never seen irrespective of which team he’s on. He popped up everywhere. Thirdly he put in some tackles (notably one or two against Baker G) which won England the ball and then distributed quickly. Fourthly his game chat actually made sense and was at the same pace as the game (he’s usually a move behind!). However the fifth and indisputable fact he’s getting some he volunteered to go in goal…….unheard of in the modern era! He may have also scored but I lost track of who scored. Spain’s goal caused a little bit of confusion as some players were adamant it had not gone in others were adamant it had (I was in the latter camp) but ultimately it was given to spare Spain’s blushes and was scored by their Italian import Campione S! Next week England can expect a tougher challenge as the dream metric team picking machine will lean towards Spain!
Wed, 08/11/2023 England
Anton Bettink
Daniel Rodger
Hugo Cuddigan
John Park
Mark Davies
Rupert Coltart
Simon Gillespie
Steve Davies
6 Spain
Abdelilah Saham
Ben Donald
Charlie Morgan
Gordon Baker
Hugo Fuller
Nick Warner
Pete Davies
Saverio Campione
5 Another great game. Credit must go to whoever picks the teams to make sure that the games are balanced and enjoyable. Whoever picks them must be an incredibly good looking, humorous and talented athlete. However what this hero can’t do is regulate the occasional ineptitude of those who went to Oxbridge as yet again someone turned up in kit ready to play for England but had not signed up to play! As such England had an extra man for the whole game and with this advantage the assumption was a comfortable win from the kick off however they nearly fluffed their lines and lost as Spain’s 8 men dug deep and kept pace right up till then end when England were able to sneak a goal and then ran the clock down. Roll on next week
Wed, 01/11/2023 England
Anton Bettink
Charlie Morgan
Daniel Rodger
John Park
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Michael Davies
Oliver Gorton
Rupert Coltart
4 Spain
Abdelilah Saham
Alexander Hodgson
Hugo Fuller
Nick Warner
Paddy Inglis
Pete Davies
Saverio Campione
Steve Davies
5 Despite being on the losing side tonight’s game was one of the most enjoyable and competitive Worthless games I have played in for a long time. The result could have gone either way (or a draw but that looked unlikely) England started 2 men down and went one nil down after some resilient defence and even a couple of half chances to score. Once England were fully complemented they began to compete and the scoreline went 1-1, 1-2, 2-2, 3-2,3-3,4-3,4-4 & 4-5. Perhaps England switched off once they had control of the game but credit to Spain who kept pressing and scoring. Very good game
Wed, 18/10/2023 England
Daniel Rodger
Hugo Cuddigan
John Park
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Mike Penkethman
Oliver Gorton
Rupert Coltart
5 Spain
Abdelilah Saham
Alexander Hodgson
Charlie Morgan
Gordon Baker
Hugo Fuller
Michael Davies
Paddy Inglis
Saverio Campione
8 Pre match build up saw much discussion when Seve asked to be “replaced” for tonight’s game. Shouts of “you can never be replaced Seve merely substituted for tonight” rang around the Worthless forums along with cries of “who can we nutmeg now!” Anyhow Seve’s substitute was none other than hardened baller for hire Chris Hunter who is either very useful for his team or sometimes (though rarely) very useless. Tonight it was the former resulting in a strong Spanish team lining up to avenge the humiliation of the previous week. England perhaps a little over confident from last week failed to see the hurt, revenge and passion in the Spanish eyes, primarily due to most of the England team having cataracts and general poor vision I suspect perhaps a group trip to specsavers? Anyhow as the game started England were playing a little bit of follow the ball en masse football with no real cohesion or plan whereas Spain definitely knew what they were doing and where the goal was cruising into a 5-0 lead leaving England a little shell shocked as every wayward pass or touch was punished along with some woeful England defending. A quick chat before half time allowed England to regroup and then finish the half with an aggregate score of 1-1 to make it 6-1. England’s half time talked evoked Churchill and beaches to find a New England in the second half winning the half 4-2 but ultimately losing 8-5. If only England started the first half as they did the second. Some lovely football at one point had the score at 6-4 but Spain duly and deservedly won the game based on their first half performance: am away next week so some fortunate numpty can scribble some waffle down about the game and hopefully should be back for the 1st Nov game our Halloween special! Presume this year’s kits will be Pumpkins vs Hobgoblins?
Wed, 11/10/2023 England
Andy Finch
Anton Bettink
Daniel Rodger
Deven Ghelani
Mark Davies
Oliver Gorton
Rupert Coltart
Simon Gillespie
10 Spain
Abdelilah Saham
Alexander Hodgson
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Fuller
Nick Warner
Paddy Inglis
Paul Sharp
Pete Davies
1 The whole point of having a reserve pool is to enable everyone to get a game in the pool by rotating the players. When the reserve pool rearrange themselves I might as well just leave them to it! As a result England started the game one man down however this didn’t seem to hinder them as they opened up a 3-0 lead and from there it became a question of not would they win but would Spain even score. Once the game was 8 v 8 England left Spain in their wake as they just scored at will. Several England players commented it was the most precise and relaxed game of football they had played in and I believe in a Worthless first every player in the team scored at least one goal including Davies Mike who only played two thirds of the game for England. Despite my numerical issues last week I thankfully was able to keep track of Spain’s score and who scored it was 1 and Davies S! Will review the team dream metric picking algorithm as it may have been a little off tonight!
Wed, 04/10/2023 England
Barney Reynolds
Charlie Morgan
Daniel Rodger
Hugo Cuddigan
Mark Davies
Michael Davies
Oliver Gorton
Rupert Coltart
3 Spain
Alexander Hodgson
Ben Donald
Gordon Baker
Hugo Fuller
Paddy Inglis
Pete Davies
Saverio Campione
Steve Davies
6 If complacency by the food of football then play on and indeed England did this evening. Opening up a 3-0 half time lead England took their feet massively off the pedal and suddenly couldn’t put anything together resembling a coherent game plan. Spain took advantage caught up and over took England. At then end of the game a debate broke out as the score. Coltart R thought it was 8-5 but everyone else thought 6-3 leading some speculative players wondering which game or indeed games he was watching/keeping score of and leaving Coltart R wondering if his last 327 match reports were numerically accurate!
Wed, 27/09/2023 England
Hugo Cuddigan
John Park
Mark Davies
Oliver Gorton
Rupert Coltart
Simon Gillespie
5 Spain
Alexander Hodgson
Ben Donald
Charlie Morgan
Deven Ghelani
Gordon Baker
Hugo Fuller
Mike Penkethman
5 The Knights of the Round Table featured heavily this evening as England short by two enlisted Arthur and a gentleman who when asked his name said "Call me Lorrick" (herein referred to as CML though he looked more like a Trevor!). Arthur's skills like the lady in the lake were more fantasy than fact however CML was definitely a Sir Lancelot on the pitch. Great skill and pace by CML dismantled Spain to open up a 4-1 lead at half time. Usual half time chat by whichever Worthless team is ahead of “same again lads we can’t botch this up can we?” resulted in England botching the second half up and allowing Spain back into the game. It was almost as if England didn’t know how to play football a carbon copy of the national team! CML had done a Merlin and disappeared onto the wing and seem to be spell bound to stay there and Arthur might as well been looking for Guinevere. 4-4 and a rare flash of genius by Coltart R made it 5-4 to England to spare their blushes but lo apparently it was discount day at the make up shop and England conceded a feeble goal in the dying seconds to allow Spain a draw. However Spain have yet to win a fixture this season!
Wed, 20/09/2023 England
Anton Bettink
Charlie Morgan
Deven Ghelani
Hugo Cuddigan
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Michael Davies
Rupert Coltart
8 Spain
Alexander Hodgson
Ben Donald
Gordon Baker
Hugo Fuller
Paddy Inglis
Ricky Gill
Saverio Campione
Steve Davies
4 First game of the season for Coltart R and he nearly didn’t make it into the pitch as the new (and seriously under-signed so we all get tickets) Westway Parking Hours had changed from 8pm to 10pm with a new payment app that was as an unintuitive as its name suggested! Anyhow deciding a ticket maybe a small price to pay for the game he wandered onto the pitch. New strips for the new season caught his eye but what caught his eye even more was that there was one less red shirted player. Sadly Reds were one short and ultimately that proved very costly and perhaps ruined the game somewhat as the teams are generally picked to give a fair balanced game. Ironically not everyone on whites noticed they had the man advantage till half time showing that an Etonian and Cambridge education is perhaps not worth the money! As a result of some whites thinking it was even numbers Spain took advantage and scored the first goal indeed at one point it was 2-2! The turning point was a Cuddigan H goal. Coltart R intercepted a wayward Spanish pass and broke towards the Spanish goal. With Romeo J to his left and Cuddigan H to his right and only two Spanish defenders in front of him he faked a pass to Romeo J and then teed up Cuddigan H with a weighted pass. Deciding the angle for him was too easy Cuddigan H knocked the ball further right making the angle more oblique before drilling it into the bottom left corner! 3-2 up and England cut loose and once comfortably ahead started faffing around with trick passes or over complicated passes allowing Spain to sneak two goals but they were never in any danger! Two games two wins for England! Come on Spain!
Wed, 13/09/2023 England
Abdelilah Saham
Hugo Cuddigan
John Park
Mark Davies
Mike Penkethman
Simon Gillespie
Steve Davies
6 Spain
Alexander Hodgson
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Fuller
Nick Warner
Paddy Inglis
Pete Davies
Saverio Campione
5 Welcome back new season and new teams (three people from the two teams last season just switched over its not rocket science!) While not playing my “unbiased” spies tell me 6-5 flattered Spain and England should have comfortably won. Rumours of any other goals clearly are fantasy and malign the good Worthless Athletic Name. Shame on you…..
Wed, 28/06/2023 Bolton Wanderers
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Fuller
Mark Davies
Mike Penkethman
Nick Warner
Paul Sharp
Saverio Campione
Steve Davies
1 West Ham United
Alexander Hodgson
Daniel Rodger
Deven Ghelani
Hugo Cuddigan
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
8 TBH I lost track of the score but umpteen-1 isn’t an option on this poor website (can we get a 4.2ios Mohawk software update please?!?) So I hold my hands up and admit that last night the dream metric team picking analyser failed spectacularly! It also didn’t help that I wanted to play with a good friend who happened to be a great player thereby slightly unbalancing the teams from the get go. Last couple of weeks I have noticed an interesting statistic that the louder and nosier you are as a player the weaker you are as a footballer! Not that I am suggesting if you all shut up you’ll be better footballers and we play in silence (though I honestly believe some of you are incapable of being quiet for less than a second) but I’ve noticed a few players making some loud calls for the ball while saying (loudly) what they’ll do when they get it and then invariably doing nothing of the sort (9 times out of 10 they lose it and the other team score almost immediately!) Anyhow on a balmy and humid night West Ham were 3-0 up in 12 mins and from there Bolton were doomed. Daniel “Jockey” Rodger ran the show for West Ham which allowed the rest of the team time and space to play football and it worked really well. As one Bolton player opined in the pub afterwards “literally everything Daniel and the rest of you did worked and you scored and everything we did also worked…for you!” There were some wonderfully worked goals generally derived from lovely crosses from one side or another that the onrushing Hammer player met with a header or volley or half volley or mis-hit! Coltart R in the second half become monastic in his approach to delivering the perfect cross and everyone for the Hammers had an enjoyable game while Bolton didn’t! Two more games left of the season and already heated discussions about next seasons’s teams……Canvey Island Derby here we come…..or how about simply Oxford United vs Cambridge United though knowing how moronic some of us with our tops we’ll all just turn up in the same blue!
Wed, 21/06/2023 Bolton Wanderers
Abdelilah Saham
Gordon Baker
Hugo Fuller
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Nick Warner
Saverio Campione
Simon Gillespie
1 West Ham United
Alexander Hodgson
Anton Bettink
Hugo Cuddigan
Michael Davies
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
3 A stern pre match chat from the Hammers skipper that none of last week’s antics were acceptable and while not looking at anyone (Coltart R) show-boating was to be kept to a minimum and in fact none whatsoever. And for once everyone heeded his request! A well-organised Hammers ground out a 3-1 win against a Bolton side who continually kept pushing for a goal and played well. In fact an overall good game of football!
Wed, 14/06/2023 Bolton Wanderers
Charlie Morgan
Gordon Baker
Hugo Fuller
Mark Davies
Nick Warner
Saverio Campione
Steve Davies
7 West Ham United
Abdelilah Saham
Alexander Hodgson
Deven Ghelani
Hugo Cuddigan
Michael Davies
Paddy Inglis
Paul Sharp
Pete Davies
1 Didn’t play but hear a complete reversal of last week and West Ham were awful. I wonder what the differing factor between the results was…..hang on could it be me!
Wed, 07/06/2023 Bolton Wanderers
Deven Ghelani
Gordon Baker
John Dawes
Mark Davies
Mike Penkethman
Paul Sharp
Saverio Campione
Steve Davies
1 West Ham United
Alexander Hodgson
Charlie Morgan
Daniel Rodger
Hugo Cuddigan
Michael Davies
Pete Davies
Richard Aseme
Rupert Coltart
8 Tonight was all about West Ham both in Prague and Shepherd’s Bush! Both games utilised the Europa League Conference Ball. The only subtle difference was the scoreline. On paper the teams were meant to be evenly matched however West Ham after last week’s defeat played proper football tonight. Crisp, quick passing to their own team (usually to the oppo!) meant Bolton never really got a look in in the first half despite having an almost equal share of the ball. West Ham just used the ball better and we’re prepared to build up towards the goal rather than their usual frantic hoof and dash tactic. 4-0 at half time and West Ham’s half time chat suggested some complacency and over confidence may help their cause however this was just in jest! Bolton’s half time chat looked more like a funeral or at least a post mortem as they were shell shocked. Could this be a niller some West Hammers thought. As always though the charitable Hodgson A spared Bolton’s blushes when he went in goal by wafting with his fist at a very long distance weak shot. It almost looked like he was shepherding it into his goal! Anyhow despite this donation West Ham continued their dominance and as full time rolled round walked off smugly wondering if their counter parts in Lrague had faired much better! Special mention to Campione S midway through the first half as a high cross came in stood on the edge of the Hammers area and for a split second shaped up as if he was going to do a bicycle kick but just before launching himself common sense kicked in and as he hunched down to pounce just massaged his back and continued on with the game! Credit to him thou a few minutes later for hurling himself as another cross came in and getting a face full of black crumbs! It was slightly entertaining as his timing was off so the ball shot along the face of the goal and then as everyone else was heading off to one side he just flung himself!
Wed, 31/05/2023 Bolton Wanderers
Abdelilah Saham
Hugo Fuller
John Dawes
John Romeo
Mark Davies
Nick Warner
Saverio Campione
7 West Ham United
Alexander Hodgson
Charlie Morgan
John Park
Michael Davies
Paddy Inglis
Pete Davies
Rupert Coltart
3 I seem to block out games I play badly in. I know the argument could be made therefore how any match reports ever get written! West Ham just were not at the races today for whatever reason. No formation or cohesion allowed Bolton to really score at will. Usual antics of not picking up certain players didnt help. Welcome return to the game of the co-Chariman Warner N added some entertainment. Good to see he hadnt lost any of his skill as usual. Warner N also reminded us of the rules that there is no tackling at least any that occurs is generally accidental and not meant to be aggressive. A little bit of argey bargey by a couple of players seemingly unnecessary. Anyhow just noticed the word "lost" should not be in the above sentence apologies please delete when reading. Role on next week and I promise to write a more detailed report even if we lose!
Wed, 17/05/2023 Bolton Wanderers
Abdelilah Saham
Ben Donald
Deven Ghelani
Gordon Baker
Hugo Fuller
John Dawes
Mark Davies
Paul Sharp
4 West Ham United
Alexander Hodgson
Charlie Morgan
Hugo Cuddigan
Oliver Gorton
Paddy Inglis
Rupert Coltart
Steve Davies
4 Over confidence was West Ham’s undoing tonight. Rarely do the Hammers feel their team is the strongest but tonight we thought we would give Bolton a thumping. However Big Sam would have been proud of tonight’s Bolton team who had the height advantage and used it to full effect in three of their four goals! West Ham started the brightest and pinged the ball gleefully around leaving Bolton chasing shadows. However Bolton did get a few intercepts from over passing and immediately pushed forward with Baker G & Dawes J using their height and strength to muscle into the Hammers back third. A cross for Bolton by Davies M saw Inglis P and Gorton jumping with Baker G and the ball flicking of Inglis P’s head into his own goal for Bolton to take the lead. The Hammers soon pegged them back but just before half time another Bolton cross at pace was met by an almost diving Baker G who headed into the net. 2-1 at half time and the Hammers were bemused that they were not miles ahead. Our veteran striker noted that if we kept our shots under the cross bar and inbetween the two posts we may take the lead. A novel tactic granted and again the Hammers started the half the brighter but soon again conceded to another blasted header! A draw now seemed the only hope for the Hammers who besieged the Bolton goal with wave after wave of attack and this resulted in them actually taking the lead to 4-3. Content that they had won they switched off to allow Baker G to sneak in at the back post after a sumptuous cross from Fuller H allowing Baker G the option of heading or volleying the ball into the net. He chose the later in this instance! Special mention to the Europa League conference ball used everyone liked it. Next week will be a Europa League ball and we’ll finish the season with a Champions League ball. I will be attending the pub for the last few weeks giving notice to this who wish to avoid me!