Match Statistics

Date	Team 1	Goals 1	Team 2	Goals 2	Match reports
Wed, 03/10/2018	Paraguay Andy Krick Charlie Morgan Hugo Cuddigan Martin Calver Michael Davies Paddy Inglis Pete Davies	4	Uruguay Alexander Hodgson Gordon Baker Hugo Fuller James Walters Mark Davies Rupert Coltart Saverio Campione	4	Finally the tops for the two teams arrived. The order seems to have been placed around 1997 as my top would have fitted me then when I had a six pack and was a lean machine. Now a few kilos heavier and a one pack the top may only last a few weeks as the washes will turn it into a tight crop top! Perhaps the distraction will blind the oppo and we will win more games! Anyhow tonight's game saw Paraguay go two nil up in the first quarter. Cuddigan H's trip to Cancun must have been so awful that he clearly had been thinking about his striking skills as he drilled a peach of a shot into the top right hand corner from two yards out. Davies P added a second as Uruguay looked a little disjointed and concerned as to where their goals were going to come from. Step forward Hodgson A who decided to highlight some of his attacking skills as a crisp move was neatly finished by him and then a sweet strike 15 yards out that Paraguay's keeper could see as Hodgson A bent it around a defender and nestled the ball top left. Half time 2-2. Uruguay looked to be in the ascendancy but despite more chances than Paraguay could not get that all important winner and honours were even. Hodgson A deserves another mention for taking a well drilled ball, by his brother-in-law, in the nuts. The other 13 guys all winced and felt some pain but Hodgson’s pain allowed Uruguay to hang on. In the pub Coltart R had his usual (hot dog and nachos) while watching Arena 3 show Champions League football. The delay or repeat of the picture seems to bring clarity to sports betting and the benefit of being several seconds ahead/behind of the stream!!!! Also as a PS the report will start recording and awarding people who are late. As we start late anyway after our usual warm up and chats there really is no excuse unless any of you are running the country or world. Krick A takes the award this week!
Wed, 26/09/2018	Paraguay Andy Krick Charlie Morgan Nick Warner Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Simon Gillespie Steve Davies	6	Uruguay Alexander Hodgson Gordon Baker James Arbib John Romeo Mark Davies Michael Davies Rupert Coltart	4	This week Uruguay did not blow their three goal half time lead. They lost the second half 4-3 but that was due to the usual panic of being ahead while at the same time believing they could pirouette the ball into the net. Some Uruguayans also blamed the second half loss on the fact the new kits had not arrived and the Paraguay team were playing in a mix of red and white tops which was confusing. Personally for me that is a load of cobblers. We are in blue so look for someone in blue & they are on your team. It doesn’t matter if the opposition are decked out in technicolour dream coats. If it’s not blue it ain’t for Uruguay! Great goals by blues but I’m not getting paid enough (or anything) to break the game down for the masses (over -1 at last count) who read this!
Wed, 19/09/2018	Paraguay Andy Krick Charlie Morgan Hugo Cuddigan Nick Warner Richard Aseme Simon Gillespie Steve Davies Tristan Gervais	5	Uruguay Alexander Hodgson Hugo Fuller James Arbib John Romeo Mark Davies Michael Davies Rupert Coltart Saverio Campione	7	How do you squander a 3 goal lead. That is what Coltart R was wondering as he strolled head down to the pub to console himself. And boy did he. The German Hotdog with sauteed onions was a revelation and recommended to everyone going forward. The nachos and chips were the same old same old fyi. Uruguay romped out to an early three goal lead with an opening wonder strike from Arbib who (toe-poked) sweetly struck the ball far right side of the pitch and it whistled into the top left corner. The second was a slight fortuitous ricochet and the third was an alert Romeo who pounced on the keeper as he tried to dribble the ball out of his area. Paraguay recognising that these goals were unique occurrences and could not continue did not get disheartened but slowly and methodically set about pinning Uruguay back into their half and creating opportunities. These opportunities were woeful and Paraguay should be grateful to Uruguay's sudden blase take on the game with some incomprehensible over elaborate passes, innumerable (6!) misses on goal, as well as the usual last man dribble out from the back. Uruguay were soon 4-3 down and Paraguay never looked back. Uruguay a little shell shocked and confused tried to regroup but as one Uruguayan pointed out the game felt like a "Paraguyan (made up-Ed) wave washing over them". Paraguay were simply more clinical in front of goal. Oh well c'est la vie at least my stomach felt like a winner after the hot dog! Paraguay's talismanic striker is leading a three day legal orgy (surely conference-Ed) to Cancun next week so perhaps there is hope for Uruguay then!
Wed, 12/09/2018	Paraguay Hugo Cuddigan Nick Warner Oliver Gorton Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Simon Gillespie Steve Davies	3	Uruguay Gordon Baker Hugo Fuller Mark Davies Michael Davies Robin Haller Rupert Coltart Tristan Gervais	2	Welcome back from the summer recess! I am looking forward to as many of you commenting on these reports as last season (0 at last count!). Anyhow moving swiftly on after a mad dash on deadline day several big names (and some smaller ones) swapped sides as Uruguay v Paraguay were chosen as the teams for the season. Manufacturing troubles meant kits were not yet available so both teams took to the pitch with one side naked from the waist down the other from the waist up. Anyhow jokes aside the game continued where last season left off with a competitive close match which either side could have won. Ultimately Blues were more clinical in front of goal as well as in goal where two reaction saves meant they were hanging on to victory. Couldn't make the pub. Roll on next week
Wed, 06/06/2018	Genoa Alexander Hodgson Andy Krick Deven Ghelani Gordon Baker Mark Davies Nick Warner Oliver Gorton Simon Gillespie	0	Sampdoria Charlie Morgan Hugo Cuddigan Hugo Fuller John Romeo Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Rupert Coltart Saverio Campione	0	The final game of the season was a jolly and entertaining affair. The result almost seems pointless to mention (blues won) hence the lack of scores. It was great to see all of blues regulars turn out and most of whites too. Everyone then decamped to the pub to watch Coltart R abuse the Worthless bank account with his usual starter, steak & dessert order. In reviewing the match reports I have written this season the most striking thing to notice is first the lack of any comment from anyone else thereby showing that no one reads these (allegedly) witty reports that I spend a good deal of time constructing (almost 1 second per minute of game time) & secondly how much I have personally enjoyed playing in the games whether I won or lost. This is clearly a great testament to everyone's commitment to the Worthless cause and hopefully it will continue for many seasons to come. Early shout for next season's teams either Peru v Denmark (most random world cup 1st leg match?) or for personal reasons Schalke v Dortmund. Have a good summer everyone this is Broadsword (name that film) calling.........Genoa v Sampdoria over and out!
Wed, 30/05/2018	Genoa Deven Ghelani Mark Davies Michael Davies Nick Warner Oliver Gorton Robin Haller Steve Davies Will Allen	9	Sampdoria Alexander Hodgson Hugo Cuddigan Hugo Fuller James Beaumont John Romeo Martin Calver Rupert Coltart	3	A strange match as the score at half-time was 2-1 to Whites and was a very close half. Blues scored first then conceded two upto half time. Blues half time chat spoke about staying compact prohibiting whites to play in the middle of the park and catch them on the break. Whites must have just had a microphone in the blues camp as that is exactly what they did while blues marked the boards on the edge of the pitch! Whites scored 3 goals in as many minutes at the start of the second half and pretty much owned the game. Whatever blues tried just didnt quite work. 9 goals were scored in the second half which works out at around 1 every 3 minutes so the one lone spectator has a field day as credit to whites some of the goals were pretty special and well worked. The blues regulars all agreed we played terribly but at least not as bad as a niller! Final match of the season next week will decide who wins the league!
Wed, 23/05/2018	Genoa Andy Krick Gordon Baker James Arbib Mark Davies Michael Davies Nick Warner Oliver Gorton Simon Gillespie	0	Sampdoria Alexander Hodgson Barney Reynolds Charlie Morgan Ethan Kline Hugo Cuddigan Pete Davies Richard Aseme Rupert Coltart	4	George W said it best: Fool me once shame on you. Fool me you cant get fooled again!" And yet Whites allowed themselves to be fooled into another niller! It's a bit like red buses-you wait for 20+ years then two come along in quick succession. Blues success rested with Ethan who as always is solid and sensible unlike the rest of blues! The scoreline perhaps flattered blues too as the first half was 1-0 with chances at both ends created by good football by both teams. It is an odd scenario as it seems suddenly 16 40+ years old men have all realised the key to good football at the same time as the game ebbed and flowed until Blues took the wind out of white's sails midway through the second half with their second and third goals close together. Coltart R after four weeks off in the US turned up with a backwards baseball cap and a very stylish homeless look! Do they not have scissors or razors in the US or have TSA confiscated everyones?!? Two games left of the season who will get promoted and who relegated? No idea about the pub attendance as I didnt go but as usual I suspect everyone discussed how good I am! It is wonderful as no one reads these reports I can spout drivel all day!
Wed, 18/04/2018	Genoa Andy Krick Ben Donald Gordon Baker James Arbib Mark Davies Michael Davies Nick Warner Oliver Gorton	4	Sampdoria Alexander Hodgson Charlie Morgan Hugo Cuddigan Hugo Fuller Paddy Inglis Rupert Coltart Saverio Campione Steve Davies	4	Firstly I would like to register my incredulity at the p*sspoor response of my team picking from last week. Clearly my quantum algorithmic data metric team picker was in the end useless or you all did not play how my model thought you would play! However more importantly tonight's report. In my 12 years playing Worthless football I have seen some wonderful (among the usual drivel) football moments but perhaps the ultimate and never to be repeated event tonight was an edge of the box headed goal by blues talismanic striker. While it’s been brought to my attention that no one reads my match reports I will record this event like a time capsule moment for Martians to read. While some of us thought Seve was working for whites he did fly (like an airbus A320) down the left side to deliver a great cross. Who was there to meet it I hear you ask (or is that silence I hear?!?). Well Olly and Hugo C were jostling in the box and thankfully Olly slipped. This left Hugo C partially distracted by Olly falling to the ground to head the ball in and as he admitted after only really partially aware of what he had done as the distraction allowed his brain to not over think the issue! Blues have now requested that Whites fall or slip more often when we give the ball to Hugo, we may get better results! Anyhow in the end nothing could separate these two talented (bit much?) two teams. Fun attendance in the pub too. I am now away for four weeks so someone else will have to pick up this cherished mantle of reports.......that no on reads. Thank you!
Wed, 04/04/2018	Genoa Mark Davies Martin Calver Nick Haigh Nick Warner Robin Haller Tristan Gervais Zac Arbib	6	Sampdoria Deven Ghelani Hugo Cuddigan Paddy Inglis Richard Aseme Richard Clode Rupert Coltart Saverio Campione	5	A true Worthless match which was fun, entertaining and could have gone either way. Whites had to recruit a ringer who seemed to have every colour of shirt apart from a blue or white, so he played in yellow! Blues seemed a little over confident from their last few weeks of thumping victories and could have gone ahead however they seemed more intent in scoring spectacular goals and so it was left to whites to take the lead. They never gave that up and were often two goals ahead however blues kept pegging them back. At 8.58 it was 6-5 and whites seemed to be camped in their goal as blues kept pressing to grab a late draw. Last shot of the match was an Inglis loopy lob which had some power and hit the crossbar would have been a great way to end the match as neither team deserved to lose, but blues did! For those who are interested three small lamb kebabs were ordered at a very quiet pub after and were excellent, did we book the whole pub out?!?
Wed, 28/03/2018	Genoa Alexander Hodgson Deven Ghelani James Arbib James Walters Nick Warner Oliver Gorton Steve Davies Zac Arbib	1	Sampdoria Charlie Morgan Hugo Cuddigan Hugo Fuller John Romeo Nick Haigh Pete Davies Rupert Coltart Saverio Campione	4	Blues continue their current form with another win. Tempting fate by asking when will this end.........try tomorrow!
Wed, 21/03/2018	Genoa Alexander Hodgson Charlie Morgan James Arbib John Park Mark Davies Oliver Gorton Richard Aseme Steve Davies	4	Sampdoria Amr Abulaban Ben Donald Hugo Cuddigan Hugo Fuller Michael Davies Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Rupert Coltart	7	A relaxed Blues team rolled up after last week's game and started the match as they finished the last one by opening up a 3-0 lead. While discussing the possibility of whites failing to score again they allowed Davies S to wander down the middle of the pitch and score. 4-1 at halftime saw Abulaban A switch for Park J who seemed to be hobbling on arrival. Impressive to pull a hammy from the car park to the pitch! This saw the one sided first half become a 3-3 second half though blues took their foot off the gas and did the usual second half team leading antics of attempted cute passes, flicks, pirouettes etc. Roll on next week
Wed, 14/03/2018	Genoa Andy Krick Ben Donald Gordon Baker James Arbib James Walters John Park Mark Davies Nick Warner	0	Sampdoria Alexander Hodgson Charlie Morgan Hugo Cuddigan Hugo Fuller Michael Davies Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Rupert Coltart	5	Tonight’s report consists of a quiz: which one of these is NOT fiction and/or myth. Is it a) Camelot b) Lost city of Atlantis c) Loch Ness Monster d) A Worthless Niller e) A Unicorn f) None of the above. If you have answered f) please never play again!
Wed, 07/03/2018	Genoa Alexander Hodgson Andy Krick Charlie Morgan Gordon Baker Mark Davies Robin Haller Tristan Gervais	2	Sampdoria Hugo Cuddigan Hugo Fuller John Romeo Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Rupert Coltart Saverio Campione	7	Once again the PhD/MBA requiring Worthless availability online system fooled someone and it looked like Whites were going to be one player short. Thankfully Kyle Walker was strolling by (could explain Man City's result!) and jumped onto the pitch. This strengthening of White's did little to help them as the Blues despatched them like Jon Snow with Longclaw destroying the White Walkers! It is worth noting that Blues had their regular seven for the first time this season and boy did they click. The pre-match pep talk from their talismanic striker went along the lines of "can you all play properly this week. We have a good chance as I dont see any recognised striker on their team and neither do I on ours" Profound words! Off the ball running, short crisp passes, playing the way they were facing made blues look like a well drilled machine. Goals of all sorts were scored from half volleys to tap ins however the goal of the evening was a short pass out from Blues goal and four one touch passes covering five sixths of the pitch the final one being played right into the onrushing Hugo Fuller who side footed (WITH HIS WEAKER FOOT!!) the ball into the bottom left of the goal while fooling us all by looking top right.......mis-hit my ass he knew what he was doing! Can Blues repeat this feat next week, fingers crossed they can as it made for a fun pub afterwards where the scoreline was almost repeated by pub attendees! We also need to have a word with the pub about permitting office functions on a Wednesday without keeping space for regulars!
Wed, 07/02/2018	Genoa Alexander Hodgson Charlie Morgan Deven Ghelani Mark Davies Martin Calver Michael Davies Oliver Gorton Richard Aseme	4	Sampdoria Hugo Cuddigan Hugo Fuller John Park John Romeo Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Rupert Coltart William Stevenson	1	Rumours had been circulating for weeks that a true worthless legend was making a cameo appearance for Blues. Once it had been established it wasnt Reynolds B (a legend?!?-Ed) the mystic and magic of this player swirled into such a tornado that Warner N & Baker G were suddenly unavailable for Whites fearing a spanking from Blues and the legend that is Park J. Cometh the hour cometh the man as Park J maintained his mystic and magic by either playing in his cloak of invisibility or not turning up! Blues were therefore one man down (or were they?-Ed) and as we all know you dont win matches that way however the scoreline flattered Whites as Blues played some wonderful and better football for most of the game pegging Whites back and holding the scoreline to 2-1 until the last few moments when their legs gave out. As usual it is always easier to remember ones goals rather than won goals gettit? (No you're fired get that-Ed) and so I would like for the next eleven pages briefly touch on Blues goal which was scored by Cruyff R (surely Coltart R or at best Cruffts R) who fooled White's defence with an exquisite turn before drilling the shot through the keeper's legs. Stevenson W commented it was on my weaker foot but all I can say to that is its still stronger than his better foot (touche!). And I leave you with a new defensive motto of Inglis P which was "do as I say not as I do" when marshalling Stevenson W and myself while marking a beautiful patch of turf!
Wed, 31/01/2018	Genoa Alexander Hodgson Mark Davies Martin Calver Oliver Gorton Robin Haller Steve Brooke Steve Davies	6	Sampdoria Hugo Cuddigan Nick Haigh Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Richard Aseme Rupert Coltart Saverio Campione	1	Veni, vidi, vici said Julius Caesar and so did whites last night as they romped home to a 6-1 win. Jimmy Greaves said "its a funny old game" and that it was as on paper these were two relatively evenly matched teams. Granted whites had the extra player but on a pitch designed for 14 or 16 having 17 should have meant space and opportunities would be limited. There were several opportunities for Blues to get into the game early on when at 2-0 down Coltart R was on the edge of the area with the ball and only the keeper to beat and decided to drill the ball at the keeper's nuts rather than score. This seemed to be a pattern for Blue who thumped the woodwork multiple times when only 2 down but couldn't score. Whites had no such problems as every attack seemed to result in the blues net bulging. Dont know what was said in the pub as I didnt go this week but I guess everyone talked about how good I was! Porcos Fugere!
Wed, 10/01/2018	Genoa Alexander Hodgson Andy Krick Ben Donald Charlie Morgan Nick Warner Oliver Gorton Richard Aseme Steve Davies	7	Sampdoria Barney Reynolds Hugo Cuddigan Hugo Fuller John Romeo Michael Davies Pete Davies Robin Haller Rupert Coltart	5	Blues talismanic striker summed up the game with the statement "we played sh*t" Whether he was using the royal "we" no one knows but the sentiment for blues play was on balance probably correct. Oh and Whites had Martin too. He thumped in several goals from various ranges every time blues got close to levelling the score. Blues are confident though of winning more matches in the new year with returning midfield enforcer Romeo J from injury (surely work secondment?!?). Excitement mounted after the game as we wandered to the pub anticipating a new 2018 menu to tuck into. True to form the Balkan mafia did not let us down as the menu consisted of several differences from 2017; different font and higher prices! There surely must be a price ceiling one is willing to pay for a chicken ciabatta! Sadly sickness is preventing the author from playing this week so match report duties will have to be picked up by someone else. If blues win perhaps they may have found the issue.........
Wed, 03/01/2018	Genoa Andy Krick Gordon Baker Mark Davies Nick Warner Oliver Gorton Simon Gillespie	7	Sampdoria Deven Ghelani Hugo Fuller Martin Calver Michael Davies Paddy Inglis Rupert Coltart	7	First game of 2018 & a real test for both teams as 5 Whites took on 6 Blues. Fitness was going to be crucial and both teams clearly showed they had been keeping busy (eating) over the Christmas break. Goals generally came by one team going on an all out attack and forgetting to leave any defenders which resulted in many one on ones! Warner & Baker did their best impressions of Allardyce & Pardew in man managing the other (worth noting Allardyce and Pardew's win %s are roughly 35%) no idea about the pub attendance as didn't go but will judge by the number of chicken ciabattas in the bin thrown out uneaten when driving by tomorrow. Well played everyone and a fun start to the year's games. Great to see Mark Davies back before he jets off to watch England win the Ashes tomorrow. Perhaps we'll also get a full complement starting on time next week too!
Wed, 13/12/2017	Genoa Andy Krick Barney Reynolds Charlie Morgan Gordon Baker Michael Davies Nick Warner Oliver Gorton Simon Gillespie	2	Sampdoria Alexander Hodgson Ben Donald Deven Ghelani Hugo Cuddigan Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Rupert Coltart Steve Davies	8	Looking back at previous reports this season tonight's teams were very similar to other Wednesday nights and so at the start on paper it should have been anyone's guess. However Reynolds B was late for whites & blues took advantage of this by scoring two goals. They never really looked back from there. With an organised formation everything they tried worked while Whites had one of those nights where nothing worked. Not wishing to blow one's trumpet (bet none of you knew I was musical!) the goal of the game as voted by everyone (umm I think you put an "every" in there by accident-Ed) was a sublime 40yrds lob by Coltart R who saw Baker G off his line and struck a sweet left foot strike very Rooney W esque! Anyhow as usual whites and blues came together in the pub after for the traditional Christmas meal. I'm always amazed the restaurant has so many steaks for a Wednesday night! Worth noting Coltart R always gets carried away and has three courses and all the Coke (beverage) he can consume! Might as well get my dues worth right! A Merry Christmas to you all and a Happy and Healthy 2018 to you and your families.
Wed, 06/12/2017	Genoa Andy Krick Ben Donald Gordon Baker Michael Davies Nick Warner Oliver Gorton Steve Brooke Tristan Gervais	3	Sampdoria Charlie Morgan Deven Ghelani Hugo Cuddigan Hugo Fuller Martin Calver Richard Aseme Robin Haller Rupert Coltart Steve Davies	7	As a blue player I must take my hat off to whites who with one man down for the duration bravely matched blues for 60% of the game. At half time the score was 2-2 and at one point 3-4 until blues cut loose and whites tired. Blues basically scored by allowing whites to charge forward and then in several sweeping moves catch them on the break and slot home. Whites goals were a combination of worthless goalkeeping and the usual blues of blues defense! Robin "The Enforcer" Haller dialled back the years to his school days, when any opposition player wanting to operate on his patch needed a chit, with some crunching tackles and strong headers. In the pub after it was announced that next week would be the last worthless week before taking the usual (and sensible) European Christmas break. That means free tuck (8 steaks already pre-ordered by those at the pub) after. There was also a debate of would whites have won with a full complement-it is always a tough one to call however one of the protagonists in the shortfall apparently had a sore buttock! I sign off aptly with the words of G Baker on hearing of said sore buttock-"Roger That"
Wed, 29/11/2017	Genoa Alexander Hodgson Andy Krick Charlie Morgan Nick Warner Oliver Gorton Steve Brooke Steve Davies	6	Sampdoria Hugo Cuddigan Hugo Fuller Michael Davies Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Rupert Coltart Saverio Campione	4	Not much to say here other than Coltart R turned up 10mins late to find his team 2-0 down. Despite some heroics and being 4-4 at one point blues succumb to a loss by......you guessed it 2 goals. Starting with a full team helps!
Wed, 22/11/2017	Genoa Andy Krick Ben Donald Gordon Baker James Arbib Michael Davies Nick Warner Oliver Gorton Simon Gillespie	0	Sampdoria Hugo Cuddigan John Romeo Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Robin Haller Saverio Campione Steve Davies Tristan Gervais	0	While no idea of the score as I was not around or who played I think it should be noted on this illustrious website the best wishes of all past & present Worthless players to Davies M. We hope he has a speedy and healthy recovery and look forward to seeing him back on the hallowed turf soon patrolling up and down one side of the pitch only dressed as if he's going skiing straight after!
Wed, 08/11/2017	Genoa Alexander Hodgson Andy Krick Ben Donald Gordon Baker Mark Davies Michael Davies Oliver Gorton Robin Haller	5	Sampdoria Hugo Cuddigan Hugo Fuller Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Richard Clode Rupert Coltart Saverio Campione Steve Davies	3	Blues this week suffered the usual Worthless curse of being ahead and dominating the game upto half time to then succumb to a rambunctious white team in the second half. One white player who wished to remain anonymous (make sure Hodgson A's name is not mentioned-Ed) said the senior white player offered his team mates £20 (there was some confusion if collective or individual) to turn the game around during the half time chat. Perhaps it is time Worthless goes professional! Highlights include Krick A in the opening 30 seconds through on goal for the first time in 7 years. As he was debating whether to go with his Shearer, Robbie Keane or Phil Neville celebration he wound up to smash the ball. Unfortunately Coltart R nipped the ball away from him just as Krick A let loose connecting superbly with Coltart R's shin & calf. Coltart R then was incapacitated for most of the game hobbling around being ineffective (sounds like business as usual: was he injured? - Ed). Another injury worry for blues saw their talismanic (fake news-Ed) striker get whacked while in goal. Whites do not mess around. See you all next week.
Wed, 01/11/2017	Genoa Alexander Hodgson Andy Krick Deven Ghelani Gordon Baker James Arbib Mark Davies Martin Calver Oliver Gorton	3	Sampdoria Ben Donald Charlie Morgan Hugo Cuddigan Michael Davies Paddy Inglis Pete Davies Rupert Coltart Steve Davies	3	it was a draw. Review over.
Wed, 25/10/2017	Genoa Alexander Hodgson Andy Krick Chris Conder Michael Davies Nick Warner Samer Iliya	6	Sampdoria Amr Abulaban Ben Donald Deven Ghelani Hugo Fuller Richard Clode Rupert Coltart Steve Brooke	3	After the Monday night success of the FIFA awards (the Peppermint Hippo ones not London Palladium) most of the Worthless Regular Squads were given the week off allowing them to relax and focus on the frantic fixture run in to Christmas as well as tend their allotments, dig out their cardies & check their winter fuel allowances. This allowed for the second time this season for both sides to field their Caraboooooo Cup teams. Both sides were packed with quality and unquality and a high skilled game ensued with Whites sneaking it at half time 2-1 despite Blues literally having a million shots on goal. Second half and same story as while Whites pulled away to a 6-3 win with only six or seven shots on goal Blues took fluffing in front of goal to a whole new level. Strange times when you wonder were Cuddigan H is........overall though despite being on losing team a fun match to be involved in! Cuddigan H where are you? (To the tune of Scooby Doo-Ed) See you all next week. RC
Wed, 18/10/2017	Genoa Andy Krick Mark Davies Nick Warner Oliver Gorton Simon Gillespie Steve Brooke Steve Davies Tristan Gervais	6	Sampdoria Alexander Hodgson Amr Abulaban Hugo Cuddigan Paddy Inglis Robin Haller Rupert Coltart Saverio Campione William Stevenson	6	12 goals scored but Coltart R wouldn't know about the first as he did a Krick A (turned up late) thinking he'd balance the sides for a bit. Krafty Krick though turned up on time! Blues keep trying to pull away but Whites keep hanging on. Some well worked goals by both sides. Blues perhaps with the more flair players ended up like Coltart R's 5 month old daughter; lots of dribbling everywhere, but going nowhere fast resulting in a few moans and tears and a little toothless. Whites realising they didn't have the flair played simple ticky tacky football that Klopp J would have been proud of. Coltart R was asked by one idiot "who kicked off first?" to start the 2nd half off but received a stern response from Cuddigan H "why are you asking him he wasn't here". Coltart R was late for those who did not know! Overall a fair result, good football & a strong attendance in the pub! Isn't that what Worthless is all about...